Crusader (Battle Born Book 1) Page 16

  He scooted his chair closer to hers, not stopping until their knees touched. “That’s my first kill. I don’t want the darkness in my past to dim your light.” He reached over and placed his hands on her thighs. He didn’t move his fingers or make the motion any more intimate than physical contact between his body and hers. “I still see innocence in your eyes. I don’t want to corrupt that.”

  She didn’t feel nearly as innocent as he obviously found her, but compared with his life, her problems were doubtlessly blips on a screen. “Your ‘first’ kill. Have there been many?”

  “My first assignment was to a preemptive strike team. By taking out strategic targets, we were able to minimize losses on both sides.”

  “You were an assassin?” She’d known he was a soldier and killing was part of war. Still the concepts didn’t sit well with her pacifist tendencies. Sometimes evil required action, but she couldn’t help feeling like war was attempting to fight evil with more evil.

  Who was she to criticize his life? She advised pet owners for a living while he was trying to secure a brighter future for himself and the other battle born. The contrast was stark and evocative.

  “I was seldom the person who actually pulled the trigger,” he said carefully. “But I was directly involved in numerous assassinations. Look, Ashley, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I just don’t want those images in your mind.”

  She accepted the compromise with a tense nod, no longer sure she wanted to witness any more of what he’d been through. “Are there no bright spots in your past? What about hobbies and… Do they ever let you leave the ship?”

  He gathered her hands between his, lightly stroking her skin with his thumb. “I’ve spent my entire adult life on various spaceships. We’re offered as mercenaries when hostilities with the Bilarrians lull. It never ends. Officers are allowed two weeks of leave per year, and that is frequently broken up into two- or three-day segments. I have no hobbies. All of my friends are fellow soldiers. And that is all I can ever expect if I remain with the RPDF.”

  No wonder he was willing to risk so much in his quest for a better life. “I’m pretty sure you’re not a virgin, but have you ever had an actual girlfriend?”

  He grinned. “Why are you so sure I’m not a virgin?”

  “You certainly didn’t kiss like a virgin.”

  His gaze dropped to her lips and lingered. “Sometimes kissing is all virgins are allowed to do so they get very good at it.”

  Her jaw dropped and she forced her eyes to blink. “You’ve seriously never been with a woman?” What was wrong with Rodyte females? He just grinned again and her eyes widened. If he was never allowed off the ship… “Have you been with a man?”

  He finally laughed, releasing her hands so he could sit back in his chair. “I’m not a virgin, and all of my sexual encounters have been with females. As for the girlfriend question, I was hopelessly enamored with our cook’s assistant when I was thirteen, but she was in lust with Garin. They were all in lust with Garin. He’s the Nox heir, not me.”

  “There has been no one since you became a soldier?”

  His momentary levity faded as quickly as it had appeared. “What sort of relationship can I build when I’m only allowed to leave active duty a couple of weeks each year? Many military vessels have pleasure givers on board, but few are willing to sign on to long-range missions. We’re thankful for any port that has females, even if they’re only willing to serve us drinks.”

  He eased her out of his mind and the link faded. Apparently, he was finished with show and tell.

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea you’ve been so…isolated.” Then a through occurred to her, one that should have bothered her before. If Harton had taken a second war bride, what became of his first? “What happened to your mother? Do you have any contact with her?”

  It took a moment for him to answer and then he droned out the explanation like a voice replicating computer. “My father called her Aliria, which means prize or treasure. She refused to tell him her real name. She wanted nothing to do with me. As soon as she’d recovered from giving birth, she ran away from our estate. She trusted the wrong man because she was desperate. He tried to ransom her back to my father, but by the time Father came to collect her, she’d taken her own life. Father never spoke of these events, but Garin was old enough to remember.”

  Shocked into silence, Ashley just stared into his eyes. His features seemed frozen, incapable of expressing the emotions ravaging his soul. “I’m sorry.” Even whispered and sincere, the phrase seemed pathetic, utterly inadequate consolation for what he had suffered.

  “Do you have a better idea of who I am now?” He pushed to his feet and slid the chair back to its original position.

  She nodded, missing the intimacy of their mental joining. His emotions still echoed through her soul, but he seemed very far away. “I can definitely understand why you’re discontent. Your life has been pretty bleak.”

  “And my children’s lives won’t be much better unless we bring about serious change. Taking war brides must be illegal and the battle born must be freed.”

  She understood his need for change and supported his efforts. His fixation with regaining magic, however, seemed like a waste of energy. Rodyte technology already allowed him to accomplish things that made him seem like a sorcerer.

  “Thank you for doing this.” She wasn’t ready to admit that it had worked incredibly well. She now felt like she’d known Bandar for years, like they’d grown up together.

  “You’re welcome.”

  He looked in the compact refrigerator and found a bottle of what looked like beer. “Do you want one?”

  “No thanks. I know it’s early, but I’m almost ready for bed.”

  “Best news I’ve heard all day.” He grinned as he triggered the cap with a firm swipe of his thumb.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She strolled toward the door between the bedroom and sitting area. “Any chance there’s a bathtub in here?”

  “Why don’t you find out?” His glistening gaze promised mischief and she hastily reconsidered her plans.

  She eased the door inward and found a compact bathroom. There was a shower stall, but no bathtub. “Damn.”

  “We can look at the other apartments if you’re dying for a soak.”

  “It’s not that important. I can wait until I get home.” She closed the bathroom door and faced him. “Speaking of which, did you arrange for someone to retrieve my phone?”

  “I didn’t and it will have to wait until tomorrow. The ship is out of range.”

  “What about Nazerel?”

  He took a swig of beer, his gaze intent upon her face. “Despite his recent generosity, Nazerel is not my errand boy.”

  Wow. Their trip down memory lane left him in a crappy mood. “Fine. I didn’t mean to piss you off.” She turned away, but that made her face the bed and conflicting emotions twisted through her. Why was she still fighting her attraction to him when nothing felt more natural? She hadn’t had many lovers, but nothing in her past even began to compare with what she felt for Bandar.

  As if summoned by her thought, he was suddenly right behind her. He must have set the beer down because his hands lightly clasping her upper arms. “I’m sorry. The memories were more painful than I’d anticipated. I don’t allow myself to think about most of those events.”

  She turned and tilted her head so she could see his face. “I know the feeling. Not even my closest friends know about some of the things I told you.”

  He traced the side of her face, tucking her hair behind her ear as he descended. “Why do you think that is?”

  “It would make more sense if I hadn’t told you until now, but I trusted you the moment I met you. That’s irrational.”

  Heaving a sigh, he pushed his fingers into her hair and stroked her lips with his thumb. His hand easily spanned the distance, drawing her attention to how much bigger he was than her. She’d always towered over other women a
nd frequently looked men directly in the eyes, especially when she wore heels. It was refreshing to be with someone who made her feel delicate and feminine.

  “It’s instinctual. Your body and soul know who I am even if your brain won’t let you admit it.”

  It was hard to argue with him when her breath hitched and her heart pounded each time his fingers brushed her skin. “I admit we have a connection. Does that automatically mean I should abandon my old life and join your fight for freedom?” She didn’t find the idea nearly as outrageous as she should.

  “Don’t be so dramatic.” He smiled and his phitons shimmered. “The choices aren’t mutually exclusive.”

  She smiled and moved closer to him. “I don’t have casual affairs. Once I open my heart, I need a real commitment. Are you ready for that?”

  “There is nothing casual about this and commitments don’t scare me at all.” His arm wrapped around her waist, his fingers splayed against her ribs.

  He started to lower his head, but she stopped him. “How do Rodytes prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs?”

  “Humans are still dealing with sexually transmitted diseases?” He was obviously surprised. She nodded. “Mandatory inoculations have long since eradicated most forms of disease on Rodymia.”

  Did he realize how valuable such knowledge would be once his people were ready to negotiate with humans? Instead of introducing the tangent, however, she asked, “And pregnancy?”

  “I can’t give you a child without a mating bond and I vow not to trigger the link until you’re ready and willing to take that step.”

  She raised her hands to his shoulders, gazing deep into his eyes. “I can’t believe I buckled this easily. I was so sure I could resist you for at least a few weeks.”

  “A few weeks?” He crushed her to him with a groan. “I’ll be dead by morning if I don’t taste you again.”

  The melodramatic claim made her laugh as he scooped her up in his arms. The ease with which he could lift her never failed to thrill her. She never dared to dream she’d find a lover who would literally sweep her off her feet. “I wasn’t aware that you’d ‘tasted’ me already.” She accented the statement with a playful smile. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember.”

  His lips captured hers for a brief, blatantly possessive kiss. His tongue swept into her mouth, offering his taste as he greedily absorbed hers. “This is what I meant.” He paused beside the bed with her still cradled in his arms. “Is there somewhere else you’d like for me to taste?”

  She shivered, suddenly embarrassed by her own boldness.

  A firm knock on the door preempted her reply. Bandar set her down on the edge of the bed as he turned toward the door. “I’m going to kill him.” He growled the threat under his breath then spoke a Rodyte command.

  The door slid open and Dr. Irron bustled into the room. He clasped some sort of scroll in his right hand. It didn’t look like paper, more like old-fashioned x-ray film. Without preamble, the doctor launched into his explanation. “Your father’s results are staggering, but I really need to understand the progression.” He unrolled the scroll and the device sprang into shape, becoming a perfect, suddenly rigid square. Was this the Rodyte version of a tablet computer? He activated the device with a circular motion that didn’t actually touch the surface. The screen shimmered then swelled into a three-dimensional display. Very cool. He used an up and down motion to manipulate the data hovering in the air in front of him. “His last formula is labeled Protocol C4.” He glanced up from the screen and looked at her. “There are references to earlier formulas, but these notes don’t go back that far.”

  “And what would you like us to do about it?”

  She fought back a smile. Bandar was not amused by this interruption.

  Ignoring Bandar’s gruffness, Irron stayed focused on Ashley. “Did your father maintain an archive? Was he employed by a university or research company? Do you have any idea who might have his earlier documentation?”

  Sitting on the edge of the bed made her feel self-conscious, so she stood up and moved to the center of the room. “The only one who would know is my mother and chances are really slim that she’d have kept his things. Their divorce was anything but amicable. If he left papers with her, she probably burned them.”

  He ran his fingers over the surface of the computer. The holodisplay retracted and a less elaborate control panel appeared. “What’s her number?”

  “That’s a telephone?”

  “Establishing comlinks is one of its many functions.”

  She shot a triumphant look at Bandar as she asked, “May I use it when we’re finished?”

  “Of course.” He glanced at Bandar, confusion furrowing his brow. “Is something wrong with yours?”

  Bandar just glared.

  “The number,” Irron prompted. She told him and a moment later she could hear her mother’s phone ringing. It only rang once before the connection terminated. “She declined the call. Will she pick up for you?”

  “Most of the time.” Her mom could be prickly when not handled with care.

  “What’s your phone number? I’ll have my datapad emulate your signal.” She told him her number and then repeated her mother’s.

  Abigail picked up on the second ring. “Did you just call me? My phone showed some bizarre alphanumeric code rather than your number.”

  “It was me, but it just clicked on this end. Must have been a computer glitch.”

  Abigail made a familiar sound and Ashley could picture her discontented expression, lips compressed, eyes narrowed. “Well, what’s going on? I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”

  “I called you Tuesday, but I got your voice mail.” Her mother never returned calls, felt it was Ashley’s responsibility to call her.

  “You know I never check those messages. You should have called back.”

  There was only one productive response to this attitude, Ashley had learned down through the years. “You’re right, Mom. I’m sorry.”

  “Did you need something in particular or did you just call to chat?”

  Her mother’s moods had been exasperating while Ashley was growing up. Now Ashley was able to smile about their slightly irrational swings. “Did Dad have an archive for his research? A friend of mine is really interested in that sort of thing.”

  “‘That sort of thing’? Do you mean immoral experiments or shoddy science?”

  Rather than taking the bait, she remained focused on the goal. “If you know where I can find his old papers, I’d love to go through them with my friend.”

  Abigail harrumphed, bringing another reluctant smile to Ashley’s face. “I’ve had them out on the curb three different times, but I was afraid the bastard would haunt me if I didn’t protect his precious research. That shit meant more to him than either of us. You realize that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Mom. Dad lived for his research. Do you still have it or not?”

  “Two file boxes full of that crap are moldering in my back bedroom. Why are you looking for the old stuff? Wouldn’t his current work be more useful to your friend?”

  Her mother had always been good at ferreting out lies, so Ashley told the truth. “I already have some of it, but I’d appreciate whatever you can give me.”

  “Well, I have no use for any of it, so you’re welcome to the lot. I’ll gather it up and ship it on over. You should receive it in a week or so.”

  “Hold off on the shipping. I might be able to swing by tomorrow and pick it up.” Ashley tried to sound casual.

  “You’ll ‘swing by’?” Abigail laughed. “Last time I checked, sweetheart, you live in Manhattan. Even if you catch a flight, you better leave now.”

  She glanced at Bandar, surprised that both men had remained silent through the entire conversation. “My friend and I snuck away to Las Vegas for a few days, so we’re—”

  “Oh my God! Did you get married? I will kill you if you eloped before I even meet the man.”

  “I never said my frie
nd was male.”

  “But he is?” Abigail sounded hopeful.

  “No wedding chapels were involved and you’ll meet him tomorrow as long as we can find a rent-a-car. I’ll call again when I’ve worked out the details.”

  “See you soon.” Sounding much more cheerful, Abigail ended the call.

  Irron made a motion above the device and it appeared to power down. “How long will it take to reach her location? You’re stuck with ground transportation until tomorrow night.”

  “Then there are vehicles available?”

  Irron nodded. “There are several. Do you know how to drive?”

  The question surprised her, though it probably shouldn’t have. People who spent most of their lives aboard spaceships had no reason to learn how to drive. Not to mention bio-streaming. If she had regular access to bio-streaming, she’d never bother with ground transportation again. “I know how to drive. I’m not real good with a clutch, but even then I’ll muddle through.”

  “And how long will it take us to reach your mother?” Bandar digressed.

  “She lives in Flagstaff, Arizona. You said we’re near Las Vegas, so she’s about four hours away.”

  “Four hours there and four hours back,” Bandar reminded. “If we wait until the ship is back in range, we can retrieve the files in a matter of minutes.”

  “That would minimize the risks,” Irron agreed.

  “What risks? Akim and friends think they’ve found the Holy Grail. They have no reason to harass us now.” She looked at Bandar, suspecting he would have a harder time telling her no. “If I have to hang around this place until the ship is back in range, I’ll go stir-crazy. Humans don’t do well in captivity.”

  Bandar’s scowl wasn’t quite believable. “You’re not my prisoner. You’re my guest.”

  Irron chuckled, which only made Bandar’s expression more intimidating. “You could take half the guards with you. There is more than one vehicle.”

  Loath to derail her own plan, she still had to ask, “Do any of the guards know how to drive?”

  Irron made several motions over the surface of his computer then paused as if waiting for a response. “Pator and Tarn can both operate Earth vehicles.” He looked at Bandar as he added, “When would you like to leave?”