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  He took her face between his hands and kissed her mouth. “I refuse to regret it. And for the record, as soon as we get back to the ship I’m going to lick you from head to foot. There is no way you’ll stop me now.”

  “We can’t keep doing this,” she cried, still shaking from the staggering orgasms he’d just given her. “It’s not fair to either of us. It makes you think I’m willing to mate with you and I’m not!”

  “I can’t pretend I don’t want you.” He shrugged and motioned toward the end of the alley. “If you’re really not interested, just say no.”

  Easier said than done! Her body still ached for the fullness of his and his taste was imprinted on her tongue. Not just her tongue, her brain, her very being. Even now she wanted more. She was like a horny teenager all over again. She hadn’t felt this needy since high school, when she’d first met her husband. Shame surged through her annoyance, cooling her senses and refocusing her mind. “I don’t want another husband. No matter how insane the pull is making me, I’m not ready for a permanent mate.” The statement was more of a reminder to herself than a warning for him.

  “Then you’re right. We better get moving.” His gaze narrowed and his phitons flashed with golden light. “If we stay here, I’m going to finish what we started.”

  And she’d let him. Regardless of how opposite her desire ran to her logical intentions, she still wanted Rex with painful intensity. She’d gone down on him like a whore in an alley! Never in a million years would she have done something like that with— She pinched off the thought, refusing to think about the past. The present was confusing enough.

  They fell into tense silence as he led her from the alley. As well as looking flushed and hungry, he still seemed concerned that the copper-skinned male would reappear. Rex took her into one of the shops and spoke briefly with the proprietress. She smiled at Thea, but didn’t attempt to communicate with her.

  After concluding his business, Rex led her back outside. He didn’t speak to her, barely looked at her. He just kept walking.

  Unable to take the tense silence, Thea asked, “She didn’t have what you wanted to buy?”

  “She did. I arranged for her to deliver it to my ship.” He glanced at her then away. “The purchase was too bulky to cart through this crowd.”

  Another miserable pause followed, prompting Thea to ask, “Are you angry with me?”

  Rex looked at her and sighed. “I’m trying not to rip your clothes off and throw you to the ground. I’ve been fighting the pull since we left the Outcasts’ planet. I thought what just happened would help, but I’m really struggling.”

  Yet he’d seemed perfectly relaxed in the shop. He’d been friendly without flirting. How had he maintained such a casual air if...he felt like she did right now? “I’m sorry, but I didn’t ask for any of this.”

  “I know.” He took her by the hand and led her back to the shuttle. He didn’t entwine their fingers, simply used the casual connection to guide her through the crowd. Still, the heat of his skin sank into her flesh and she found the strength of his fingers comforting. He didn’t speak again until he had the hatch open. “You’re not my prisoner, Thea, but I don’t think it’s safe for you to attempt returning to Earth on your own. Will you please, stay with me?”

  Stay with him? That made it sound so personal. “Staying here isn’t an option,” she admitted. “However, I am still determined to return to Earth.” Then why had she gotten on her knees in the alley? Another surge of guilt made her fidget uncomfortably.

  “I understand.” He swept his arm toward the shuttle, clearly expecting her to precede him.

  With a frustrated sigh, she climbed onto the shuttle and sat in one of the two forward-facing seats. “Are we returning to your ship?”

  “Not yet. I have one more stop to make and it’s the most important one.”

  She just nodded, too discouraged to engage in casual conversation. Plotting her escape in the abstract had been a semi-entertaining way of passing time on the Outcasts’ planet. The reality, all of the obstacles she’d need to overcome seemed insurmountable. Rex had been her one and only ally. Now she knew he had ulterior motives for everything he’d done. And the last thing he wanted was for her to return to Earth.

  The real question had become, did she still want to return?

  The shuttle lifted off a few minutes later. A sudden burst of acceleration plastered her against her seat. The small spacecraft banked sharply to the left, then leveled out, the engines barely discernible. It was often hard to tell if Rodyte ships were in motion or not, but shuttles were like carnival rides on steroids. Thankful for her safety restraints, she tried to relax and catch her breath.

  “For the sake of argument,” Rex began after a lengthy pause. “Let’s say I return you to Earth. What then?”

  “I’d rebuild my life,” she said softly, refusing to look at him.

  “And what would that involve? How did you make your living before the battle born arrived on Earth?”

  She sensed no mockery in his tone, just casual interest. “I got pregnant during my junior year of college, so I never finished. Taking care of the girls kept me busy, so I only worked part-time.”

  “‘The girls?’ Your offspring were all female?”

  “We had two daughters. We’d talked about trying for a boy, but...” Emotion choked off the rest of her sentence, so she just left it there.

  A tense pause followed and she thought he’d leave her alone. No such luck. “Is your vocation still viable or was it an industry that was affected by the tragedy?” His tone softened. It sounded as if he chose each word with the utmost care.

  “I managed a small office, did payroll and scheduling. It was a tiny business and the crash not only leveled the building, it killed all of the employees. If I hadn’t been running an errand that took me out of the city that day, I’d have died like everyone else.”

  “I’m so sorry that you lost so many and so much.”

  He sounded sincere, so she just said, “So am I.”

  He didn’t try to reengage her, but her mind wasn’t so kind. His unanswered questions churned, demanding answers, forcing her to face the truth. Her “vocation” had always been a dead-end job, not a rewarding career. She spent four-to-six hours at the office, so she’d have money to spend on her kids. But her children were gone. Her world lay in ruin, so why was she so determined to return? Clerical skills were always in demand. She had no doubt she could find a job. But then what? She’d sit in an empty apartment staring at the walls, longing for a past that was gone forever?

  Her grandmother was still alive, but Helen was physically fragile and her memory grew worse every day. Besides, Grandma Helen would be the first to insist that Thea move on from the past, risk her heart and abandon herself to life’s adventures. Despite her advanced years and failing health, Grandma Helen still possessed a fiery spirit.

  Risk her heart? The phrase echoed back to Thea and she sneaked a glance at her frustrated host. There was no denying that Rex was physically attractive. He was easygoing and had treated her with nothing but gallantry and care. But he was courting her, seducing her with kindness and smoldering passion. It might be subtle, but it was still a strategy, a way of coaxing her into doing what he wanted.

  So what did she want? She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. The only thing she really wanted was to roll back time, to undo the past and put her life back the way it had been before the battle born came to Earth. That wasn’t possible and fixating on the past wasn’t helping her move on.

  She rested her head against the back of her seat and let the memories swell, filling her mind with images and the musical tinkle of laughter. Crystal and Nichole, her precious angels, their sweet faces focused and tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes.

  “Can you tell me about them?” Rex coaxed, his voice soft and compassionate. “What were their names?”

  “Crystal was older by fifteen months. Nichole was my wild child, always into trou
ble.”

  “Rather like her mother?”

  She heard the smile in his tone and opened her eyes, blinking until her vision cleared. She never talked about her family, tried not to think about them. She was tired of crying and their loss was still too painful, too raw for any other reaction.

  She was tired of wishing she’d been at work that day.

  “They were my world,” she said, meaning it literally. Being a wife and mother had given her life purpose. “It was my job to protect them and I failed.”

  “It was your mate’s job to protect them. It was your job to love and care for them. If anyone failed, it was him.” Before she could react to the antiquated and sexist statement, he continued, “But there was no way anyone could have anticipated what happened that day. You did not fail, nor did your husband. The fault lies squarely on the shoulders of the Solar Warden commander, and he paid for his folly with his life.”

  She’d told herself that very thing a hundred times and it did little to ease the ache or fill the emptiness. Her girls were still gone and so was Michael. She was the only one who ever called him Mike. He was her partner in life, the man with whom she had honestly expected to grow old. She let his image form in her mind and was shocked when grief didn’t overwhelm her.

  “His name was Michael.” Mike was too personal, too private. It was the name she used when they were alone, when he was making love to her. “He was my first real crush, my high school sweetheart.” Her one and only lover. Unless what happened in the alley counted and the jury was still out on that.

  “How did you meet?”

  She talked about Mike less frequently than she talked about her daughters. Even in her mind, she referred to him as her husband, to help distance herself from the pain. So why was she sharing this with Rex, and why wasn’t she sobbing uncontrollably?

  She shook her head, staring at the main viewscreen. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “You need to. You’ll never be free of the past if you keep your emotions bottled up. Believe me I know.”

  Whipping her head to the side she started to tell that he had no idea what it felt like to lose so much, but the pain in his eyes stopped her tirade. Maybe he did know. Only something devastating left behind that sort of pain.

  “You said he was your high school sweetheart,” he said. “Is that where you met, at an educational center?”

  Again she shook her head as memories flooded her mind. But the emotions that always accompanied the scenes were muted, manageable. “I knew him my entire life. We lived on the same street, but our friendship grew into something deeper in our teens.”

  “Friendship is the best foundation for romantic relationships, in my opinion.” He spoke casually, keeping the topic generalized. “Sexual attraction can wane from time to time. Couples are more likely to work at rekindling the fire if they genuinely like each other.”

  She just nodded, not sure what else to say.

  “How long were you married?” he continued.

  “Nine years.”

  He reached over and placed his hand on her arm, waiting until she looked into his eyes. “I’m very sorry they were taken from you.”

  Emotion burned the back of her throat, but the rush receded as fast as it formed. “I appreciate the sentiment, Rex, but it doesn’t bring them back. Nothing can.”

  “You understand that, but have you accepted it?”

  “Accepted that they’re gone forever and there is nothing I can do about it? Yes, I know all of the bitterness in the universe won’t change what happened. But I will never accept how senselessly they died or how much I miss them.”

  He started to say something, then shook his head and turned back to face forward. “Arton never should have taken you. I’ll return you to Earth if that’s really what you want, but I need to finish this mission first.”

  She stared at his tense profile, not sure if she could trust his offer. Why would he give her up if— What difference did his motivation make as long as he was really willing to take her home?

  Home? Was Earth her home? Los Angeles was a smoldering pile of rubble. She had no home.

  Damn it. What was wrong with her? He’d just offered her the only thing she’d wanted since waking up on an Outcast ship. Why wasn’t she elated?

  She knew the answer, but wasn’t ready to admit it, even to herself. Instead, she shifted her focus slightly. “What about Lily? She didn’t volunteer. We should return her as well.”

  He didn’t look at her, kept his gaze fixed on the main viewscreen as he made a few adjustments with the holo-controls. “We’ll talk to her when we return. If she still wants to go back to Earth, I’ll take her as well.”

  She nodded, even though he wasn’t looking at her. She had no idea what Lily would want. Thea wasn’t even sure what she wanted anymore. It had been three months since the LA Massacre. That wasn’t a lot of time to grieve when one’s reason for existence was snatched away. But apparently, it was all the time fate was going to give her. She clearly stood at a crossroads. She could return to Earth and remain focused on the past, or she could embrace this bizarre opportunity and redefine her existence.

  Rex cringed as he heard his own words. What was he thinking? The Outcasts needed Lily badly. Their transformation program was over before it had begun unless she agreed to help them. There was no way they would give her up without a fight. Besides, he’d seen the way Arton looked at Lily. They might not be genetic matches, but the harbinger was definitely interested in more than her brilliant mind.

  He glanced at Thea and the pull reengaged, making him ache all over again. He needed her to be happy, wanted her contentment even more than he wanted her body. But could he survive without her? After sharing pleasure with her, he wasn’t entirely sure. Giving her up might not literally end his life, but it was quite likely that it would destroy him emotionally.

  With a heavy sigh, he forced all the uncertainty aside. All of it would have to wait until he finished this mission. Supply runs weren’t glamorous or exciting, but they were crucial. This one in particular was vital to the survival of the Outcasts. Their ships could produce synthesized food as long as they had power, but Kage wanted more for his people. He wanted natural food, food cultivated in the ground and nourished by fresh air and sunshine. Too many of the Outcasts had spent their entire lives aboard spaceships. Kage wanted them to develop an affinity for their new planet, to put down roots and feel part of something solid, likely for the first time in their lives.

  Rex understood the appeal. His story was similar to many of the Outcasts. He might not be a mercenary now, but he’d spent too many years as a soldier, both in the Rodyte Planetary Defense Force and as a gun for hire. Killing, at least for him, had to be a last resort. Still, most of his customers were outlaws. Kage certainly qualified.

  “Where are we going?” Thea finally broke the silence long moments later.

  “To visit Proktar’s parents. His father arranged a meeting with an elusive botanist named Dr. Foronti. Kage tried all of his other contacts, but no one was able to secure a meeting. Foronti only takes on projects he deems worthy of his talent.”

  “Wow. No ego there.”

  Rex smiled, resisting the urge to look at her. Looking at her made him want to touch, and touch led to kissing, which led to stripping her naked and claiming her on the cramped shuttle floor. It was better if he didn’t even look. “His ego is warranted. His skill has saved numerous civilizations and prevented several wars.”

  “Okay, now I’m curious. What sort of botanist singlehandedly saves civilizations and prevents wars? Does he make weaponized plants or something?”

  “Not even close. He produces customized plants that thrive in the harshest conditions. Each crop is meticulously programed for a specific eco system, maximizing its output and resilience.”

  She thought for a moment then said, “I can see how that would save civilizations, but what crop has ever prevented a war?”

  “Dr. Foronti’s seedl
ings have been used in negotiations, giving aggressors a reason not to attack. Earth isn’t overpopulated yet, but it’s heading there fast. And it’s not just overpopulation. All sorts of calamities can result in famine. One EMT pulse could paralyze Earth’s entire agricultural system.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but Earth’s farmers still depend on nature not technology.”

  It always surprised him how little humans knew about their own world. “Human farms depend on irrigation, and irrigation depends on pumps and those pumps require electricity. Human agriculture is surprisingly well mechanized, much of it computerized, which leaves them vulnerable to all sorts of cyber-attacks.”

  Rather than argue with him, she digressed. “This brilliant scientist has found the Outcasts’ cause ‘worthy’? That’s hard to believe. Does he know how they got their mates?”

  “He only agreed to meet with me. It’s my job to convince him to accept the commission.”

  She muttered something under her breath. Then a bit louder, she said, “Good luck with that.”

  He understood her bitterness. She had a right to be angry. Still, he couldn’t shake what Arton had told him. Thea wasn’t just genetically compatible. She was destined to be his mate.

  Beyond the trading village lay rolling hills and fertile valleys. The valleys were sectioned off into small tenant farms. Each farmer could either sell the crops on their own in the village or become part of the local co-op, which gave them access to off-world markets.

  Proktar’s parents, Goftar and Lanae, owned one of the larger tenant farms, and were co-leaders of the co-op, which was how the family had met Rex.

  Rex set the shuttle down in the clearing to one side of the family’s home. He’d commed ahead so they were expecting him. “Come on.” He motioned Thea toward the hatchway as he lowered the retractable stairs.

  She paused as she reached the ground, her curious gaze taking in her surroundings. Thick, green grass cushioned their feet and leafy trees shaded the two-story house, which was partially covered in ivy. Vivid blue and cloudless, the sky arched overhead, providing a tranquil backdrop for all the green. The house itself was a perfect rectangle, with a brick chimney at each end and red brick accents surrounding the windows.