Rage and Redemption Read online

  Naomi hesitated. Was this simply another way for him to avoid the issue? “I know what is recorded in the Scriptures. Heavenly host proclaiming the birth of Christ and delivering messages from God.”

  “And how much do you know about Lucifer?”

  The wind carried a strand of hair across her face. Naomi tucked it behind her ear and said, “He coordinates all things evil.”

  “Aye. But he began as an angel,” Gabriel reminded her.

  Goose bumps broke out on her arms. “I have never understood why God created his own enemy,” Naomi confessed. “If God created Lucifer, then did not God create evil?”

  Gabriel smiled patiently. “There must be balance in all creation. Good and evil, light and darkness, right and wrong, life and death. Lucifer knew it and I suppose he felt it more powerfully than anyone else.”

  Fascination and revulsion washed over Naomi in alternating waves. She was speaking with an angel about the devil. Her heart did a little flip within her chest. “Gideon knew Lucifer?”

  “We all knew Lucifer,” Gabriel said. “When he began his campaign, we were forced to choose sides. We either joined the rebellion or defended Almighty God.”

  “And those who joined the rebellion were cast out of Heaven with Lucifer.” Naomi thought of the passages she had read and the stories she had heard, but until now none of it seemed real. How could such conflict exist in Heaven, the wellspring of ultimate peace?

  “Gideon chose to remain loyal to God but he was bitterly torn. He knew that Lucifer was wrong—that he was paying the price for his pride and arrogance—but they had been friends, Naomi, close friends.”

  “What did Gideon do?” His image came to her, the angry press of his lips, the tension in his expression and the flash of rage so often in his eyes.

  “Gideon took his place in Michael’s army and systematically destroyed the ones he loved. He obeyed but he resented what he was commanded to do.”

  “It made him bitter,” she said softly.

  “It filled him with resentment and fury. It stirred something dark, something violent within his nature.” Gabriel paused, glancing away. “Once the rebellion was over, he no longer had an outlet for his frustration so he looked for someone to blame.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “He couldn’t blame Lucifer for he loved the angel Lucifer had been before the Fall. So Gideon focused his resentment on the most important of all God’s creation.”

  “Man?”

  “Aye. He began to crave violent assignments, to revel in them. He saw the love and devotion God poured out on mankind as a sort of betrayal, another injustice.”

  She fought against the compassion unfurling within her. Gideon ruthlessly manipulated anyone and anything to get what he wanted. She would not feel sorry for him!

  “God cast him down to Earth as He did Lucifer?”

  “Nay, Gideon was not cast out.” Gabriel took Naomi’s hands between his own. “Michael, the archangel, told Gideon he must reform.”

  She sighed as the warmth of his touch soothed her. “Michael has authority over the other angels?”

  Gabriel nodded. “Michael directs the angels at God’s command.”

  “But Gideon did not reform. He told me that he has a bad attitude.”

  Again he nodded. Releasing her hands, Gabriel walked about the walled enclosure. Each movement revealed his anxiety.

  “Michael was ready to let him Fall. He felt that Gideon had already chosen, that his lust for blood and his resentment of humans had corrupted his angelic nature.” He paused, hands clenched tightly at his sides. “I couldn’t spare Gideon completely. His rebellion had to be punished—even I understood that—but I was able to convince Michael to make the punishment temporary.”

  “What is his punishment?”

  Gabriel took a long time to answer. “Angels are creatures of Light. Gideon is now a creature of darkness.”

  Naomi shifted against the rough stones at her back. How could she be attracted to a creature of darkness? How could his touch melt her inhibitions and make her senses burn? “He is…evil?”

  “It’s not that simple. There is evil in Gideon but there is goodness as well. I meant the phrase literally. He cannot be in the light. The rays of the sun burn his skin and drain his strength. He must avoid the light of day.”

  Anxiously searching her memory, she verified that each time she had seen Gideon it had been near sunset or fully night. “How does he travel if he cannot tolerate sunlight? How has he survived as a mercenary? Not many battles are fought during the night.”

  “Gideon must explain it to you. It is really not my place to reveal his secrets.”

  Naomi wasn’t about to argue. He’d explained far more already than she’d hoped to hear. “You said his punishment is temporary. How much longer must he remain in darkness?”

  “Again there is no easy answer. It isn’t a matter of time. Michael didn’t create in Gideon anything that wasn’t there already, he simply offered him freedom.”

  “Are you speaking of free will? The ability to choose good over evil?” Naomi shifted her weight, finding a more comfortable position. Gabriel continued to pace.

  “Angels are not created with the same freedom of spirit that God has given to man. We are designed to be obedient and faithful. Michael released the constraints on Gideon’s spirit, allowing him to experience fully the extremes of his own nature, much as mankind does.”

  “And how is this supposed to lead him to redemption?” Naomi wasn’t at all sure she liked Michael’s idea of rehabilitation.

  “It isn’t meant as a cure for his rebellion. It’s a trial, a final time of testing that will determine the level of Gideon’s corruption and decide his eternity.”

  Naomi shivered and crossed her arms over her chest. An anxious fluttering like the wings of a butterfly tumbled about in her stomach. “What must he do to end the trial?”

  “He must work through his anger. He must learn to love and understand humans, or at least desire the understanding then—”

  “His only hope lies with the creatures he hates most?” she cried. “That is so unfair.”

  His warm brown gaze came to rest upon her face. She saw a subtle pleading there and suddenly wanted to run.

  “He doesn’t hate you, Naomi. You’re the first human with whom he has made any sort of a connection. I don’t fully understand why he wanted you to know what we are, but it was important to him.”

  Unable to stand still any longer, Naomi reached for the end of her braid and pulled loose the ribbon. “He knew I would feel betrayed by your omission.”

  “That was part of it. Still I can’t help hoping that something within him longs for the light.”

  She didn’t know what to say. Turning to face the bright sunshine, she raked the thickness of her hair with her fingers and let the wind play through it.

  He stepped up beside her. “I know you’re afraid of him and you should continue to be wary, but if you could…” He shook his head and looked away. “I can’t ask this of you. It is just that he is my brother and I love him.”

  She had so many questions. But the more she learned, the more frightened she became. “If I could do what?”

  “If you could point him back to the light. He needs to see the goodness in mankind, the tenderness, the loyalty and bravery. You are all of these and more. I know what Michael expects of Gideon, but I don’t know how to change him. He will not listen to me.”

  “You cannot change him. No one can. He must want to change himself.”

  Gabriel nodded, his expression suddenly sad. “That’s what frightens me most. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s reaching out to you.”

  The wind blew her hair all around her and Naomi felt as tousled as the strands. “What if I’m not strong enough to lead him? What if he leads me instead?”

  “I’ll not let it go that far. If you begin to succumb to his darkness, I’ll pull you back. I love Gideon, but I’ll not lose you both. If he
doesn’t respond to the light within you, then Gideon will Fall.”

  Naomi spent the rest of the day researching angels in the order’s extensive library. The Holy Scriptures contained very few details about the Fall of Lucifer, but the number and variety of activities attributed to angels surprised Naomi. From wrestling with Jacob all night and dislocating his hip, to annihilating Sodom and Gomorra, angels were certainly said to have done more than deliver messages.

  Gideon would have had ample opportunity to spill the blood of men in his role as an angel.

  She stopped by the dormitory on her way to the scriptorium and found three secular outfits neatly folded on her bed. Doubtlessly the clothing Brother Aaron had mentioned. It wouldn’t do to have her meet a nobleman looking like a pauper. She exchanged her plain brown tunic for an ensemble of vivid blue wool. Even the undergarments were soft, much finer than hers. Making a mental note to thank Brother Aaron for his generosity, Naomi continued her trek toward the scriptorium.

  Her mind was so occupied with everything she had learned in the library that she didn’t immediately notice Gideon lounging on the stone steps leading up to her workroom.

  His mouth parted in a beckoning smile and he whispered, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  Chapter Six

  With the predatory grace that accompanied all of his movements, Gideon stood and casually blocked the stairwell. The supple material of her garment molded to the fullness of her breasts, silently inviting his gaze and his touch. “Where have you been? I missed you.”

  She cocked her head and laughed softly. “Did you now? What did you miss? My charming wit, my challenging intellect or the fact that I have no intention of succumbing to your practiced seduction?”

  “My seduction is not nearly as practiced as you presume.”

  “You just have a natural aptitude for such activities?”

  “Nay.” He hesitated. The truth would make her angry but perhaps it was safer for them both if that soft, approachable warmth left her eyes. “Seduction has seldom been necessary before.”

  Sure enough, anger flared within her gaze. “How foolish of me. Women must trample each other to share your bed.”

  “Oh, I seldom bother with a bed.”

  He watched those enticing breasts rise and fall as she indulged in a deep sigh. “What do you want?”

  “I want to see if your breasts taste as delightful as…” His words dissolved into laughter as she turned around and hurried away.

  Her gait was a bit uneven. Her ankle must still pain her. “I was only being honest,” he defended, falling into step beside her.

  “You were being outrageous. You enjoy being outrageous.”

  “I enjoy many things.”

  “None of which interest me.” She stopped and faced him. “Do you intend to follow me back to the dormitory? Men are not allowed within so it’s a waste of time.”

  “I have all the time in the world.” A pang of some unnamed emotion responded to the boast.

  “Are you certain of that?”

  Her velvety gaze moved over his face and Gideon bristled. He didn’t want her pity. How much had Gabriel told her? Why would she look upon him with anything but fear or desire? “Walk with me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the scriptorium is hot and you don’t really want to hide within the dormitory.”

  She finally smiled. “Hiding from you is the wisest course. I’ve known from the first moment I saw you that I couldn’t trust you. I find I can’t even trust myself where you’re concerned.”

  Why would she admit this to him? Did she not realize the power it gave him?

  “You know my body responds to you. So what point is there in pretending?”

  Stepping toward her, he asked, “What point is there in resisting?”

  Her hand came to rest in the middle of his chest, holding him back. “I mean nothing to you. I’ll not lie with a man who has no feelings beyond desire.”

  He shrugged off her hand, not understanding how she’d turned the situation around. She ran, he pursued. That’s how the game was played.

  “If I walk with you, will you answer my questions?”

  “If I answer your questions, will you let me touch you?” he countered.

  “Perhaps,” she said, shocking him. “We both know I enjoy your touch.”

  Heated desire tore through him and he felt his fangs distend. The little minx. She wasn’t supposed to enjoy the game. She was supposed to struggle and resist.

  “There’s something I wish to show you,” she said softly. “Will you agree to behave if we go to the scriptorium?”

  “I’d be pleased to see anything you’re willing to show me.”

  He couldn’t read her expression as they retraced their footsteps. She learned quickly and she was not nearly as helpless as he had first supposed. Or perhaps he was just less dangerous. That thought disturbed him greatly.

  “Where did you pass the day? Gabriel didn’t know or wouldn’t tell me,” he said.

  Her musical laughter floated around him like the warmth of a summer breeze. “Gabriel was in the chapel when I left the scriptorium so he wasn’t hiding my location.”

  “Which was?” he asked impatiently.

  “Most recently the dormitory. Brother Aaron didn’t want me appearing before the Frenchman looking like a beggar so he persuaded Sister Renee to donate her clothing to me.”

  “Thus the new gown.” Her cheeks blossomed with color and Gideon smiled. Was she pleased that he had noticed or embarrassed? “It’s most fetching. Though I find myself quite envious of the material.” She was definitely embarrassed now.

  They reached the top of the curved stone steps and Naomi paused. “Do you always say exactly what you please?”

  “Aye. I find no reason to do otherwise.”

  “Tact and politeness?” She made the suggestion with just a hint of challenge in her smile.

  “Boring concepts created by hypocritical old men.”

  She laughed again and his whole body clenched. Did she not realize how she stirred his hunger? Nay, how could she? She didn’t know what he was, unless Gabriel told her—and that was unlikely.

  “So did my brother finally admit that he is an angel?” he asked casually, but what he really wanted to know was how much Gabriel had told her about him.

  “Aye. Is it physically impossible for him to lie?”

  She was struggling to light an oil lamp so Gideon waved his hand and the wick ignited. Gasping, she took a quick step back then looked at him.

  “Angels can speak only truth.” He lit two additional lamps before he asked, “What did he tell you about me?”

  “A mere fragment of what there is to know, I suspect.”

  She moved the lamp to the small stand near her angled table. The golden glow upon her face made her skin appear impossibly smooth and soft. He wanted to touch her flesh and slowly remove her new garments until lamplight caressed her entire body.

  “What did you want to show me?” His voice sounded thick and rough. He couldn’t help but smile. Hiding his emotions from humans generally came effortlessly to him. She made him feel everything so strongly he could conceal nothing.

  “I would prefer to answer your question first. Gabriel explained why you are being punished.”

  “Because I’m not content to be a mindless servant?”

  Pulling her stool away from the table, she sat and looked directly into his eyes. “I spent the day in the library learning what I could about angels. I’ll not pretend to understand how you feel, but I’m attempting to—”

  “Why?” He cut off her words with his sudden movements. Grasping the table on either side of her, he framed her with his body. “Why would you try to understand me?”

  He expected her to shrink back, to cower against the table or push him away. When her hand rose to his cheek and warmth filled her bright blue eyes, it was all he could do not to retreat. Her fingers were so warm and her touch so gentle the beast within him
tossed restlessly.

  “There is more to what you feel for me than the desire to hurt your brother,” she said softly, carefully. She brushed her thumb over his bottom lip, her gaze following the movement.

  Gideon set his teeth but refused to flinch.

  “I’m not a fool. I know you don’t love me but this is no longer about revenge.”

  Deftly catching the pad of her thumb between his teeth, he punished her honesty with a firm nip. She gasped and then laughed, but her hand trembled as she pulled away.

  He leaned in closer, inhaling her scent, absorbing her heat. “This is about lust.” He whispered the taunting words directly above her ear.

  “Lust is cold,” she whispered in return. “Easily sated and quickly forgotten. What burns between us is far more complicated than lust.”

  She pivoted on the stool and he was forced to step back. Dislodging one of his hands, she reached under the table and retrieved a scroll and an intricately carved wooden box.

  “Is this what you wanted to show me?” He exaggerated the disappointment in his voice.

  She chuckled and nodded her head. “If you cannot expose yourself to sunlight, how have you survived as a mercenary all these years?” She glanced back over her shoulder. “Are you a mercenary? You arrived with a group of them so I presumed you were one.”

  “I have no association with those men, but I do offer my sword for various forms of compensation.”

  Her fingers encircled his wrist and she pulled him around to stand in front of the table. Did she feel safer with an obstacle between them or was it simply easier to converse facing him? No matter, he certainly enjoyed looking at her.

  “Most battles occur during daylight hours. How are you able to fight?”

  “The trappings of war have served me well. A coif and hauberk, mail gauntlets and a helm—I am covered from head to toe.”

  “Then it is only your skin that reacts to the sunlight?”

  “Nay. I am a nocturnal creature now. I cannot fight my nature. More often than I fight, I search out information. Certain of my abilities make this nearly effortless.”