Heretic Page 6

  Lily hesitated, but Arton happily accepted the out. He stood and motioned her toward the door. “You haven’t eaten in several hours. It’s time to go.”

  Her first instinct was to rebel, to remain just to spite him. The tether band forced him to stay as long as she did, and that gave her a perverse pleasure.

  “It’s fine,” Dr. Foran encouraged. “Go have something to eat. In fact, the rest of this is routine. I’ll contact you if there are any surprises.”

  She couldn’t help feeling as if she were shirking her responsibilities. Still, she’d been ordered to assist Dr. Foran, not run the entire program. Seeing no other alternative, she pushed back from the workstation and stood. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Bright and early,” he warned with a goodhearted wink. “The overlord is anxious for us to get started.”

  Arton’s mood darkened as he ushered Lily out of the clinic and back toward his cabin. Sitting idly by while she flirted with Lentar Foran had been torture. Arton had nothing against Lentar personally. He actually liked the doctor. He just didn’t want any other male near her. Each time Foran touched her, it was all Arton could do to keep from flying across the room and pummeling the doctor within an inch of his life. Her scent lingered in Arton’s nose, making him restless and aggressive. He needed to mark her, spread his scent all over her body so other males would know she belonged to him.

  The possessive thought shocked and confused him. His being was so dark and twisted, thanks to Harbinger Guild, that Arton swore he would never inflict his moods on a female. He’d shared pleasure with a few, but a long-term relationship had seemed unattainable.

  So why had he kissed Lily? If he took her to his bed without a formal commitment, it sent the wrong message to the other unmatched males. But what commitment could he offer her while still being honest? He wasn’t opposed to a long-term relationship. He’d just never found a female who would put up with his dark moods for more than a few weeks. It was unlikely Lily would be any different.

  He shouldn’t have started this. She deserved so much more than he was able to give. But she was like an addiction. Every time he saw her, he had to be near her, and being near her made him want to touch her. And touching her only made him desperate for more, more of her taste and softness.

  “I’d rather eat in one of the dining halls,” she told him as they stepped off the lift and onto deck four.

  She’d stopped walking, so he had no choice but to do the same. “You weren’t afraid to be alone with me earlier.”

  “And I’m not afraid of you now,” she insisted. “I just don’t want to be cooped up inside a cabin, yours or mine.”

  He didn’t believe her for a second. She was afraid he’d kiss her again, afraid they’d end up in bed. Wise woman. After watching her flirt with Lentar Foran, that was exactly what Arton wanted. He needed her spread out beneath him, arching into each thrust as he buried himself inside her.

  They walked toward the officers dining hall in tense silence. She kept her hands pressed against her sides, ensuring that they didn’t touch even inadvertently. “I don’t want to be your mistress,” she blurted suddenly. “I don’t expect a fairytale ending, but I need more than recreational sex.”

  “‘Recreational sex?’” He’d never heard the phrase before, but its meaning was obvious. “I’m offering more than that, and I think you know it.”

  “‘We can share pleasure in the here and now,’” she quoted. “Sounds like recreational sex to me.”

  He clasped his hands behind his back in an effort to keep from shoving her up against the corridor wall. “I will protect you and care for you. I will—”

  “Do you care for me? A few hours ago you didn’t seem to like me.”

  They reached the dining hall and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. If she was determined not to be alone with him, she was out of luck. The room was empty. Not too surprising. It was eight forty-seven p.m. and females were required to be in their cabins by nine. “You can be exasperating, but I’ve always been interested in you.”

  She shot him an annoyed look. “How flattering.”

  The officers dining hall was small compared to the ones located on the lower levels. Six round tables each seated eight, and nutrition generators and recycle units lined the far wall. The wall to their left was currently transparent, allowing the occupants to see the surrounding forest. The surface could also be used as a display for animations or videos.

  Before he could reply, she hurried across the room and activated one of the nutri-gen kiosks, quickly making her selections. Half a turkey sandwich and a glass of blish, the spicy citrus beverage so many of the females favored. No wonder she was so small. She ate like a bird.

  “Would you rather I flatter you?” he asked. “I thought you would appreciate honesty.”

  She took her tray from the kiosk and headed for a nearby table. “So we have sex until the newness wears off. What then?”

  Far more interested in their conversation than food, he joined her at the table. “First of all, it could take a very long time for the newness to wear off. I find sharing pleasure...well, pleasurable. Don’t you?”

  She ignored his question and stared into his eyes. “There’s more to life than sex. And you didn’t answer my question. What happens to me once you move on?”

  “How would I move on? All of the other females have genetic matches. I would be depriving someone of their mate if I formed a social alliance with any of the other females.” He reached over and caught her hand. “I’m sorry I can’t offer you more, but neither can anyone else.”

  A long, ragged sigh escaped her as she pulled her hand out of his. She picked up her sandwich and muttered, “Does your honesty have to be so brutal?”

  He pressed back into his chair as she began to eat. “I don’t play games. That’s part of the reason we ended up with these.” He raised his arm, indicating the tether band. “If I’d been more willing to manipulate your emotions, it’s likely we would have come to an agreement before Kage lost his temper.”

  She paused for a sip of blish. “Aren’t you hungry?”

  He was famished, just not for food. “Rodytes don’t require food as often as humans.” It was true, but it wasn’t the reason he wasn’t eating. Courting her, as clumsily as his effort was, had his stomach tied in knots. “It’s not in my best interest to tell you this, but I really do hate the games people play with each other.”

  “You already told me you hate games. How is that not in your best interest?”

  “That’s not what I meant.” And he was pretty sure she knew it.

  “So tell me.” She took another bite of her sandwich as she waited for his response.

  “You are my only option, unless I’m willing to steal someone’s mate. However, I’m not your only option.”

  “Really?” She’d finished her meager meal, so she wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Why is that?’

  She sounded curious not hopeful, but he was already regretting his impulse toward full disclosure. “Some of the Outcasts are not battle born, and some of the battle born have chosen not to participate in the transformation program. There are nineteen males without a potential mate.”

  “I wondered about that, but there is nothing in the database about it.” She looked beyond him as she finished her blish. “We ran into a couple of similar cases on the Triumphant. Both turned violent. Have you and the overlord anticipated the conflicts this will cause?”

  “There’s not much we can do proactively. We’ll have to deal with each situation as it arises.”

  She pushed back from the table far enough so she could cross her legs. “It’s not widespread on Earth, but there are those who become involved with more than one person at the same time. I think it’s more common with multiple women and one man, but the reverse is not unheard of.”

  He shook his head, finding the suggestion amusing. “Rodytes don’t share their females. We’re much too possessive.”

  “I
see.” She lowered her chin and shadowed her gaze with her lashes. “Is that why you looked like you wanted to kill Dr. Foran the entire time we were working together?”

  Was she flirting with him now? Desire surged through his body, momentarily stealing his breath. “You know I want you, Lily. I’ve made no secret of my attraction.”

  “You want to share pleasure with me.” She didn’t sound happy about the conclusion.

  “I want to spend time with you, to get to know more about you and allow you to become better acquainted with me.” Her hostility confused him. “Isn’t this how couples interact on Earth?”

  “Your right. I’m being unfair.” Her words reassured, but disappointment still clouded her eyes.

  “I know what you want to hear, what will ease your fears. But I will never lie to you, never make promises I have no intention of keeping. I’m offering companionship and pleasure. Anything else would be misleading.”

  “I appreciate your honesty, but I still think I need more.”

  He inclined his head, annoyed, yet understanding her disappointment. Part of him was disappointed too.

  After a tense pause, she amended, “I might reevaluate my decision if you’re serious about letting me know more about you.”

  He sighed. Why did it always come to this? Females sensed the darkness in him and wanted to understand it, they wanted to fix it. “What would you like to know?” The question came out like an impatient growl.

  “I worked aboard the Intrepid and the Triumphant, so I met two of your brothers. Is it just you three or are there others?”

  He stared back at her, his gaze drilling into hers. She had an advantage over the other curious females. She’d already guessed the source of his darkness. “They have another brother. His name is Dakkar. I no longer consider myself a Lux, so I have no connection to any of them.”

  “I see.” And to his utter astonishment, she let the subject drop. “How long have you known the overlord?”

  “Twenty-seven years.” Now he was really confused. It wasn’t like Lily to give up so easily.

  “How did you meet?” She didn’t sound nearly as interested in this topic as she’d been in his family history. Maybe she wasn’t as interested as he’d first thought.

  “Tell me about Jakkin and I’ll tell you about Kage.”

  Cunning flashed through her gaze as she countered, “I’ll tell you about Jakkin if you explain why you no longer consider yourself a Lux.”

  He fought back a pleased smile. Her indifference had been strategic. Good. Verbal sparring was only fun with a worthy opponent. “Fine, but not here. It’s been a long day and I want to get comfortable.”

  “Fair enough.” She stood and swept her arm toward the door. “Lead on.”

  Chapter Four

  Arton’s cabin felt smaller and less impressive as Lily entered for the second time. Sexual tension crackled between them, but she wasn’t quite ready to give in. She might have spent the past month in his company, but she still knew very little about him. She moved to the sofa and sat, expecting him to choose the chair facing her. Instead, he sat beside her, near but not touching her.

  “You go first,” she prompted.

  His brow arched and his lips curved but didn’t part. “How do I know you’ll keep your end of the bargain?”

  “I give you my word. I will tell you whatever you want to know about Jakkin and me.”

  He shook his head, jaw clenching stubbornly. “You ask a question, then I’ll ask a question. Even exchange.”

  She pressed her lips together with a sigh. “I’m not sure I know enough about your situation to ask the right questions. Fine. I’ll go first.” The story was embarrassing and sad—mainly because it revealed how pathetic she was—but she was far enough from the events now to talk about them without breaking down. “I met Jakkin seven years ago when one of his missions on Earth went horribly wrong. He was injured and broke into my lab, hoping to find medical supplies.”

  Arton watched her intently, but said nothing.

  “I knew I should call the cops, but he begged me not to. His appearance was disguised, so I didn’t realize he was an alien. I thought he was some sort of spy or maybe special ops on some secret mission.”

  His brows bunched up over his nose as his gaze narrowed. “Why not a drug dealer or a well-trained criminal? Why make him brave and noble?”

  “He was wearing a belt with all sorts of sophisticated gadgets, and his speech was accented yet formal. He sounded as if he’d learned English from a language professor. There was no way he was a common criminal.”

  “So you decided not to involve the authorities.” He stretched out his arm, resting it on the back of the sofa less than an inch from her shoulders.

  The move was subtly possessive and utterly transparent. Already he was growing restless, anxious to move on. Well, she wasn’t finished torturing him, and torturing herself. Revisiting this story was a good reminder of why she couldn’t trust her feelings regarding Rodyte males. “I took him back to my apartment and he stayed for three days.”

  “Were you lovers?” He found the idea upsetting if the tension in his voice was any indication.

  “No. I was more than willing, but he wasn’t interested.”

  Arton scoffed. “I don’t believe that. You’re gorgeous. Trust me, he was interested.”

  The careless compliment pleased Lily more than she cared to admit. Not being compatible with anyone was hard on the ego. “Well, whatever his motivation, he never touched me.”

  She hadn’t meant it as an invitation, but he moved his hand from the sofa to the back of her neck. “How did he explain his departure? Where did he say he was from?”

  “He didn’t. I woke up one morning and he was just gone. No note, no explanation, just gone. He never even told me his name.”

  His fingers caressed her skin with featherlight touches, sending tingles down her spine. “Were you angry or saddened by his ruthless behavior?”

  His phrasing made her smile. “I never thought of it as ruthless, but I suppose it was. He used me without a second thought and I foolishly romanticized the entire episode. He became this man of mystery, pining away for the woman he’d had no choice but to leave behind. The truth was a little less flattering.”

  He stopped rubbing and gently squeezed. “Meaning?”

  “He didn’t think about me at all until the battle born needed a geneticist. Then he used my attraction to him to recruit me for their cause.”

  “How long were you lovers before he found his mate?”

  She laughed softly. “I hate to disappoint you, but Jakkin and I were never lovers. He made it clear that our relationship would be completely professional as soon as I agreed to help them.”

  “And yet his image lingers in your mind.”

  That got her attention. She shifted away from his hand, pivoting her entire body to face him. “How would you know what images linger in my mind? It’s against Rodyte law to scan without permission.”

  “Outcasts don’t concern themselves with Rodyte laws.” He lowered his arm, his expression unapologetic. “We live by our code of conduct and no other.”

  “The Outcast code of conduct allows for mental invasions?” She wasn’t sure why she was so upset. She’d used every tool at her disposal to spy on him. He just had tools available to him that she didn’t.

  “Relax. I barely penetrated your shields. Obviously, I didn’t harm you.”

  “That doesn’t excuse it. You violated my trust.” She shot to her feet, wishing she could storm from the room.

  “I’m sorry.” He caught her wrist and tried to pull her back down beside him. She stubbornly dug in her heels. “I shouldn’t have scanned you without permission. I will never do so again.”

  She wasn’t sure she believed him. She’d had no idea he’d done it the first time, so how would she know if he kept his word? Empowered people were so frustrating.

  Releasing a ragged sigh, she returned to the sofa, but put as much
space between them as possible.

  After a long pause, he asked, “If Jakkin didn’t seduce you, what did he do?”

  “The bastard charmed me all over again. I knew we weren’t compatible, and he was holding out for a mate, so we’d never be more than friends. Jakkin can be very likable when he wants to be.”

  “Then you watched him court and claim his mate, wishing all the while that it was you.” He shook his head, but she saw compassion not pity in his eyes.

  “And don’t forget that’s not where the story ends.” His brows drew together. She’d clearly confused him. “I was kidnapped a second time and forced into a situation even more humiliating than the first. On this world I’m the only female not genetically compatible with one or more of the males. At least on Earth there were lots of others unworthy of being a mate.”

  He took her hand, intertwining their fingers. “If you’re ‘unworthy’, so am I.”

  She tried to smile and failed. “I appreciate the sentiment, but that doesn’t change the fact that I will never have children of my own now.”

  For a long silent moment, he just stared at her. “Is that important to you?”

  She’d always wanted children, but she hadn’t made it a priority in her life. She focused on school, then establishing her career, and then one crucial research project after another. “It was more like an item on my bucket list than something I was actively pursuing.” He smiled, so she didn’t explain the reference. “Well, that’s my shameful secret. Now tell me yours.”

  He let go of her hand and pressed back into the cushions. “Which one. I have so many.”

  He ended the statement with a smile, but she sensed the tension behind his words. No one joined a group of outlaws without burning a few bridges along the way. “Why do you call yourself Heretic?” Maybe if she started with the obvious, she could ease into the darker parts of his past.

  “I didn’t choose the title.” He already sounded defensive. This wasn’t good. “I was branded a heretic when I refused to accept the nonsense they were preaching at Harbinger Academy.”