Assassin Read online

“You’re so warm,” she murmured without opening her eyes. Her hand absently stroked his chest. “So strong.”

  Having no idea how to respond to that, he just held her, patiently waiting for the awkwardness to return. But she didn’t tense, didn’t pull away. Her eyes slowly opened, and her hand slid upward, curving around the nape of his neck. She dragged her fingers through his unbound hair, then tentatively touched his face. All the while, her gaze locked with his, her silvery-blue irises shimmering in the dimness.

  Her lips parted as if she’d speak, but no words came out. Her thumb traced his mouth, lingering over the fuller bottom lip. He held still and let her wander, unsure why she was doing this. She pushed against the couch and sat up on his lap as she pulled his face down to hers.

  Their lips touched, her warm breath teasing his skin. He didn’t pull back but didn’t respond. This was her show, her exploration. She grew bolder, rubbing her lips over his. A smile crept across his mouth, parting his lips. Was she actually trying to seduce him? As if responding to his question, she took advantage of the invitation. Her tongue eased between his lips for just a moment, then retreated.

  Unable to completely suppress his instinctual response to a willing female, he angled his head and fit their mouths together more completely. Then he pushed past her lips and stroked her tongue with his, dragging a moan from them both.

  Without separating their mouths, she repositioned, straddling his hips and pressing against his torso. Both her hands pushed into his hair as if she were afraid he’d turn away. He lightly gripped her hips, allowing her the control she clearly needed.

  They kissed and kissed, their tongues moving from her mouth to his and back. Her hands moved over his back and shoulders, down his arms and up over his chest. She never lingered in one area long, which added to his restlessness. He wanted to sweep her beneath him and pin her hands above her head. With anyone else that’s exactly what he would have done. Or he’d take her into the bedroom and strip her bare so they could get down to business. But this was Arrista, and she seemed to be exerting her will for the very first time. She was kissing someone because she wanted to kiss them, not because—at least he hoped that’s what was going on.

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and eased back. Her gaze immediately darted away, and she tried to climb off his lap. He tightened his arm, holding her in place. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

  “I’m sorry.” She bowed her head, hiding behind her hair. “I know you don’t want me like this.”

  Arching his hips and momentarily rubbing against her soft body, he asked, “Does this feel like I don’t want you?”

  Slowly, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “I don’t understand you.” Her brows scrunched together over her adorable little nose. “Why refuse my offer if you want me in that way?”

  He’d already explained it to her, but she’d clearly rejected his reasoning. He tried a different approach instead. “Why’d you kiss?”

  The corners of her mouth twitched, and she arched one brow. “You were kissing me too.”

  “Of course I was. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first held you in my arms. But I don’t go where I’m not wanted.”

  This seemed to compound her confusion. Her gaze searched his for a long silent moment, then she looked away. “This is the first time I’ve kissed someone because I wanted to.” Shame and sadness clouded her gaze, and her lips began to tremble. “The others just...”

  He raised his hand and ran his fingertip along her jawline. “It wasn’t your fault. Those males took advantage of you. They had no honor.”

  Her gaze shot back to his wide now with surprise and a wary sort of hope. “Do you honestly believe that?”

  “You had no control over the situation. You had no choice but to obey them, which means you had no choice at all.”

  Tears flooded her eyes, and she shook her head. “I never wanted them, never would have...I hated it and hated myself when they were finished. It made me feel worthless and f-filthy.” The last word stuttered out as she began to sob.

  He pulled her into his arms, guiding her face to his shoulder. “Anyone would have felt that way. It wasn’t your fault.” He stressed each word, hoping to penetrate her sorrow.

  She pushed back far enough to meet his gaze again. “You don’t hate me because of them?”

  “I don’t hate you, period.” He bent and kissed her lightly on the mouth, not wanting to ruin the progress they’d made by pushing her too hard. “Can you go back to sleep now?”

  With her hands on his shoulders, she looked everywhere but at him. “Can I...I don’t want to be alone. May I sleep on the floor in the bedroom?”

  “Absolutely not.” Before she could register rejection, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. “You’ll sleep under the covers, and I’ll sleep on top. That will remind me to keep my hands to myself.”

  She looked as if she’d object but apparently lost her nerve. “Thank you.” He set her down on the rumpled bed, and she added, “You’re the kindest male I’ve ever met.”

  He chuckled. “I’ve been accused of many things, but I think that’s the first time anyone called me kind.” She lay on her side, and he pulled the bedding up over her, then spread out on his back behind her. The lights were still on in the other room, so he left the door open, providing a soft glow that outlined the furniture.

  Pleased with the outcome of the evening, he raised his arms and tucked his hands under his head. Long moments passed as he listened to her breathing waiting for her to drop off to sleep. She slowly rolled to her back and then her other side, which put her inches from his body. Her fingers lightly touched his ribs as if to see if he’d react. When he didn’t, she moved closer, pressing her front against his side. Her head eased onto his shoulder and she carefully placed her hand on the middle of his chest. The move was telling. She wanted comfort, needed it, but had no idea how to ask.

  He mumbled sleepily and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, then covered her hand with his. She tensed for a moment, then exhaled, and slowly relaxed. A short time later, her breathing changed, telling him she’d fallen asleep.

  “I ASSIGNED HER TO YOUR cabin for a reason,” Kage said firmly the following morning.

  “The situation has changed,” Torrin responded just as stubbornly. He’d slipped out of bed, showered and dressed while Arrista still slept so he could speak with the overlord without her knowing what he intended. “Isn’t Erniff’s cabin still vacant? It’s two doors down from mine. If you assign her there it will give her privacy, but still allow me to respond quickly if there’s a need.” Ollen Erniff had been transferred to one of the other ships, leaving his two room suite open. The larger quarters were rare and coveted, so a bitter uproar ensued. Kage had been so frustrated by the pettiness that he refused to award the cabin to anyone. “She needs her own space, sir.”

  “How has the situation changed?” Kage paused the control matrix and pivoted to face Torrin.

  Torrin had requested a private conversation, but Kage directed him to engineering instead. Routine scans had detected abnormal power fluctuations, and they were trying to determine the cause. Torrin’s issue really was incidental compared with a potential power outage that might affect the entire Wheel, but he had to try. “She has indicated an interest in me that I feel could compromise her recovery.”

  Kage waved away the argument. “I chose you because of her interest in you. She stays in your cabin.”

  Heaving a frustrated sigh, Torrin glanced at the males surrounding them. Most were pretending not to listen, but the lead engineer smirked, clearly hanging on every word. “She kissed me last night, and she would have allowed more. Unfortunately, I believe sharing pleasure with her will confuse the situation.”

  Kage looked at him and laughed. “Not the way I do it. Do you need some pointers?”

  Muffled laughter broke out all over the room, confirming Torrin’s fear that this was entertainment for the entire engine
ering team.

  “If you understood what she’s been through, sir, you’d realize this is serious.” He crossed his arms over his chest and felt his eyes narrow. Openly scowling at the overlord wasn’t a wise strategy, but Torrin couldn’t help it. He would not allow Arrista to be the butt of some callous joke. “She needs time and compassion. If I treated her the same way others have, I will never earn her trust. Ultimately, I thought that was the goal.”

  With a frustrated sigh, Kage looked into his eyes. “You’re right. We need information on the underground, and she can likely tell us anything we want to know.” He scratched his scruffy jaw, then did something Kage Razel never did. He changed his mind. “Fine. Move her to Erniff’s old cabin, but use surveillance whenever you’re not with her. And you’ll need to sleep while she’s with Sara or one of the other mates. I still want eyes on Arrista twenty-four-seven.”

  “Understood.” He turned to leave, but the overlord caught his arm.

  “According to Dr. Foran, the Sarronti don’t require genetically compatible males to procreate. He said he could run some simulations and see what your chances of impregnating her would be, but he won’t proceed without your permission. This could be a blessing in disguise.”

  The casual revelation shocked Torrin into silence. “What about the mating bond? Would we still share thoughts and emotions? There’s more to claiming a mate than offspring.”

  Kage shrugged, but cunning, and a hint of amusement, gleamed in his dark eyes. “Foran and his researchers weren’t able to say definitively. I guess someone will have to give it a try. What do you want me to tell Foran about the simulations?”

  Torrin might be able to form a mating bond with Arrista? He shook away the fanciful thought. She was so far removed from such concerns that it almost felt wrong to consider them. Yet the only stupid question was the one no one asked. He hesitated a moment longer, then said, “There’s no harm in running simulations.”

  Kage grinned, clearly pleased by the answer. “I’ll let him know.”

  Torrin nodded and walked out of engineering, but the new information churned away in the back of his mind. All his life he’d been told he had one purpose and one purpose only, to kill. He was an assassin, meticulously created by the Rodyte military to execute high risk missions. Locate and eliminate specific targets without getting caught. That had been his life for almost twenty years. But assassin wasn’t the only label fate had forced on him.

  Cyborg. The hated word echoed through his mind. The inaccurate term was what most considered him, but he was not a machine with biological components. He was a hybrid heavily augmented with bioelectronic implants and self-replicating nanites. He might be the only one who acknowledged the difference, but the distinction kept him from going entirely insane.

  He took the utility stairs from deck three to five, possibilities still twisting through his mind. The concept of building a peaceful settlement filled with families is what attracted him to the Outcasts in the first place. Like most of his comrades, Torrin was tired of war, tired of pointless killing and endless loss. He’d been horribly disappointed when he learned that none of the human females were genetically compatible with him. But the spark of hope had been rekindled by what he’d just learned about Arrista. Still, her needs had to come first. Before he could hope to court her on any level, he had to earn her trust.

  Hopefully, he could make it back to his cabin before his troublesome guest even realized he was gone. As Torrin rounded the final corner, he stopped short. Doctor Foran stood in the corridor, looking bedraggled and overworked, as always. He wasn’t as tall as the other Outcasts, and his build was leaner. His sleek brown hair and hazel eyes also hinted at a different genetic makeup than the Rodyte/Bilarri combination of the majority of his comrades. The male was brilliant and willing to take risks, so no one cared about his parents’ planets of origin.

  “Thank goodness, I know the Sarronti female is inside, but I think she’s still in bed. Would you mind waking her? This is important.” He held a bottle in one hand and gestured with the other.

  “Is that for her?” Torrin motioned toward the bottle.

  “Yes. I formulated a skin conditioner with a powerful sunblock. I’d like her to try it and see if she’s able to tolerate being outside any longer with it than without.”

  Torrin nodded and held out his hand. “I’ll give it to her.”

  “It must be applied liberally at least twice per day.” He held out the bottle, then pulled it back. “I don’t want her to push it at first. Spend slightly longer in the sun than normal, then increase the increment gradually.” He held out the bottle again, only to pull it back. “Maybe I should speak with her.”

  “Use lots twice a day, increase exposure gradually, and don’t push it at first. Did I miss anything?”

  The doctor smiled. “Sorry. She seems so lost. I really want to help her acclimate to an above ground environment. The sun’s toxicity seemed like an obvious place to start.”

  “It’s a great idea, and I’m here to help her too,” Torrin assured him. “By the way, you have permission to run the simulations. I’m more than a little interested in this female.”

  “I’m glad.” He nodded and finally handed over the lotion. “If I’m not mistaken, she’s more than a little interested in you too.” The doctor walked off before Torrin could respond.

  SEETHING WITH FRUSTRATION, Isolaund Farr clasped her hands behind her back and paced the length of the subterranean training hall. Snarls, growls, and the occasional roar echoed off the stone walls and golden light from holo-torches made the karrons’ charcoal-gray armor gleam. Certice, the fiercest and most skillful of Isolaund’s battle cats stalked along at her side, a watchful companion and loyal protector.

  The three handlers were putting their strike teams through strenuous morning routines. Challenging obstacles and mock attacks ensured that the massive cats remained agile and deadly.

  A neat row of cubs looked on in restless fascination, obviously anxious to participate. Isolaund’s gaze drifted along the row, stalling when she spotted Luppa. The others sat upright, heads turning as they followed the action. Luppa lay on her belly, head propped on her folded paws. Isolaund had already lost Wenny to the world above. Now it seemed Luppa would be lost to her too.

  Seeing the direction of her stare, Certice tensed, then sent a passionate plea directly to Isolaund’s mind. Please, Mistress, no. She is improving. She just needs more time.

  She was given more time. Isolaund responded, forcing her mind-voice to sound stern and unrelenting. Wenny and Luppa were the only females Certice had ever birthed, so their loss was bound to hit hard. Isolaund had been avoiding this decision, knowing how it would torment Certice, but Isolaund was simply out of time.

  She sighed heavily and motioned to Merella to join her. Merella was Arrista’s sister and had also served faithfully for many season cycles, so she was the logical replacement for the positions left vacant by Arrista’s capture. Merella wasn’t nearly as spirited as Arrista, and Isolaund had seen no hint that Merella possessed any aptitude for magic. That was probably for the best. Arrista’s untapped potential had required a powerful psychic governor, a compulsion that suppressed her abilities and ensured blind obedience. It was unlikely Merella would need anything more than occasional affirmation and a period of training to become an efficient handmaiden. Isolaund found the conclusion bittersweet. Arrista’s spirit and intellect made her an enjoyable companion. Merella would never be more than a servant.

  “Yes, Mistress?” Merella’s voice was soft and musical, barely penetrating the surrounding din.

  “Is Luppa ill?” Isolaund knew the answer. She wanted to see if Merella was perceptive enough to ascertain the cub’s true malady.

  “Wenny is Luppa’s littermate. They’re intensely bonded to each other. Luppa is not dealing well with their separation.”

  Pleased with the accuracy of Merella’s deductions, Isolaund felt even more confident in allowing Merella to replace her
sister. “Does Luppa understand what’s at stake? Her lack of aggression was a hindrance before the separation. If she doesn’t demonstrate some determination, I will have no choice but to release her to the labor pool.”

  Displeasure thinned Merella’s lips. “She was doing much better before Wenny was taken above. If you allow her a few days to—”

  “Time is a luxury I can no longer afford,” Isolaund snapped. Had Merella rehearsed this with Certice? “Alonov will withdraw funding if there are any more complications. The Guiding Council is looking for ways to discredit him and curtail his power. Though I despise the general, I am dependent upon him. The council knows this and will not hesitate to use me as leverage with Alonov.”

  “Yes, Mistress. I’ll try again to make Luppa understand.”

  Certice reinforced the position with a soft whine but wisely said nothing.

  Isolaund’s gaze narrowed as Merella returned to her place by the cubs. Arrista would have put up much more of a fight. She would have been polite and respectful, yet delightfully stubborn in her defense of the cub. A strange hollow ache erupted deep in Isolaund’s soul, and she admitted that Arrista’s abduction was affecting her much more than she’d expected.

  The past few weeks had been a steady downward spiral, and no matter what Isolaund did, she couldn’t seem to stop the destructive momentum. First she formed a pseudo-alliance with Toxyn Jow, only to have him obliterate their plans by kidnapping two of the human females. His foolish impulse triggered a landslide of conflicts and complications that resulted in Wenny ending up in the world above and Farlo Alonov being captured by the Outcasts. Then Farlo’s father, General Alonov, another male she’d been forced to align with, tried to rape one of the captive humans. His disgusting behavior cost Isolaund the best handmaiden she’d ever had and left them both at the mercy of the Guiding Council. Now Isolaund was caught in a tangle of loose ends and devastating possibilities. She needed to act fast and decisively if she hoped to survive.