Rage and Redemption Read online

  Naomi felt hot and gritty after her long stroll through the village. “Aye, that would be wonderful.” Naomi stripped to her chemise and Elspeth poured hot water into a large earthen basin. Naomi washed away the travel grime. “What do you know of Frederick of Westerville?”

  “Only what the others say, mistress. I’ve not been at Monthamn long.”

  “And what do the others say?”

  “That he’s an evil beast with an eye for MonthamnCastle. ’Tis a good thing Lord Roderick has arranged for your protection,” Elspeth replied.

  Naomi moved to the low stool near the fire and Elspeth worked the tangles from her hair with a silver comb.

  “What do you mean he’s arranged for my protection?” Naomi glanced over her shoulder.

  Elspeth’s cheeks flamed and her round dark eyes darted away. “Did I speak out of turn, milady?”

  “I don’t believe so.” Naomi gentled her tone and offered the girl a smile. “Just tell me what you mean.”

  “I heard some of the grooms talking about your personal guard. They said Lord Roderick was so concerned about your safety he’d hired men to watch you from sunup to sundown. I thought it was rather strange but mayhap he was right to worry.”

  “He has hired a guard whose sole purpose is to protect me?” Naomi tried to make light of the concept but her belly knotted. Was Frederick really so dangerous or were there other risks as well? “Will this guard not become fatigued if he is never allowed to sleep?”

  Elspeth chuckled. Naomi turned back to the fire and Elspeth quickly braided her hair.

  “He will lose no sleep, milady. There are six members of the guard as well as their captain.”

  Naomi’s eyes widened. She was no longer amused. “It will take seven soldiers to keep me safe? What sort of place is this?” She stood and turned to face Elspeth.

  “I did not mean to frighten you, mistress.”

  “I’m not frightened. But my dislike for Frederick of Westerville grows deeper with each passing word.”

  Silently allowing the girl to dress her, Naomi felt her insides flutter. This was not the peaceful homecoming she had imagined.

  “Milady,” Elspeth said as she fastened the end of the golden girdle around Naomi’s hips. “Have I displeased you?”

  “Nay. I appreciate your candor. So much has happened so quickly my head still spins.”

  The girl accepted her explanation with a quick smile and went to fetch a fresh veil. Naomi crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.

  Would nothing in her life ever be simple?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Just before she stepped into the counting room, Naomi heard his laughter. The rich, smoky sound washed over her entire body in a heated caress. He said something. She couldn’t make out his words, but she knew the sound of his voice.

  It could not be Gideon. How could it possibly be him? But she knew it was. He was here.

  Gideon was here!

  Trembling so badly she feared her knees would knock, Naomi tapped on the open door to announce her presence. They stood facing the fire, Uncle Leon and Gideon.

  The men turned and Naomi’s heart flipped over in her chest. This was ridiculous! Why was she trembling?

  “Good eventide,” Leon greeted. “Come in. Let me make the introductions. May I present Sir Gideon de le Ombres.”

  Naomi inclined her head as much to hide her smile as to acknowledge the introduction. Sir Gideon of the Shadows? “I am pleased to meet you.” She endeavored to keep her voice calm.

  “As you learned this afternoon, there are those here in Monthamn who feel threatened by your reappearance. So Roderick felt it wise…”

  She didn’t hear the rest of what Leon said. Gideon’s gaze captured and devoured hers. He was here. He was really here!

  The corner of his mouth quirked and images inundated her mind. She saw him draw her near and bend her backward over his arm. His mouth possessed hers and Naomi felt tingling heat unfold in time with the image.

  “Please find your ease. I will have Kruthers bring us wine.” Leon departed.

  “You are here to protect me?” she asked once they were alone.

  “You do not think me capable of the task?”

  Naomi’s breath lodged in her throat. He sounded angry yet his gaze was warm. Nervous energy set her in motion. She moved to one of the chairs facing the fire and sat, arranging her skirts before she spoke.

  “It’s not a matter of your capabilities but of your motivation. How long have you been here? Why would Roderick entrust you with my safekeeping?”

  He grinned and his eyes sparkled. “I arrived before you left the Holy Land and your grandfather has known me for years. I’m a faithful and trusted friend. He was thrilled to learn that I am available for this important task.”

  “You managed in just over a fortnight what it took us nearly three cycles of the moon to accomplish? In what form did you travel? What did…?” Her words trailed away as the full import of his words sank in. “You’re able to implant memories as well as steal them.”

  Moving to the fireplace, he rested his forearm along the mantelpiece and whispered, “Did you miss me?”

  Leon returned with a pitcher of wine and three silver goblets, saving Naomi from the question. He handed a goblet to her and one to Gideon.

  “Let us drink to Lady Monthamn,” Leon suggested. “May she find happiness in her new home.” He raised his cup and they drank.

  The sweet, fruity wine eased Naomi’s tight throat and she tried to relax. Her conversation with Gideon would have to wait until they were alone again so she focused on Leon.

  “Gideon has recruited the best of Monthamn’s knights to protect you, but it is important that you follow his instructions without question.”

  Naomi shot a challenging glance at Gideon. Had that stipulation been insinuated into Leon’s mind? “I’m not an invalid. I understand there are dangers, but I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

  “Nay, you are not,” Gideon said emphatically.

  Taking exception to his condescending tone, Naomi set her goblet aside and scooted to the edge of the chair. “If Frederick of Westerville is such a danger to me, why not apprehend him rather than treating me like a prisoner?”

  “We have no proof, only suspicions. Still, it is not our intention to treat you like a prisoner,” Leon assured her. “Most noble ladies travel with a private guard. Your activities need not be curtailed unless Gideon deems them unsafe.”

  She wanted to laugh. He had no idea he was sending out a wolf to guard a lamb. “And what are my activities likely to be? What will be expected of me?”

  “If you would excuse me,” Gideon said before Leon could respond to Naomi’s question. “I have duties awaiting me.”

  “Of course,” Leon responded respectfully.

  “I shall return and explain my expectations to Lady Naomi.”

  Naomi felt like a fraud. She did her best to stay attentive as Leon listed the people she would meet and the responsibilities she needed to become familiar with, but Gideon wouldn’t leave her thoughts. She knew of his deceit. Did that not make her guilty of it as well?

  “We have a surprise for you.”

  The sudden gleam in Leon’s eyes drew her full attention. “We?” she questioned. “What sort of surprise?”

  “Roderick and I, and the sort we hope will please you.”

  He offered no more of an explanation. Proffering his hand, Leon led her from the counting room and across the great hall. In the back corner, a staircase spiraled up to one of the tower rooms.

  He paused on the small landing and smiled. “Your upbringing was rather unconventional. It is not our intention to change who you are, simply to support you as you find your place in our world. We hope this will illustrate our sincerity.”

  Naomi felt as if a fist clenched around her heart while he opened the door and motioned her into the room. A familiar tang sharpened the air. Naomi’s pulse leapt. Ink. It smelled like ink.
/>
  Half afraid her imagination had run amuck, she took a tentative step. Leon opened the shutters and twilight spilled across the floor. He quickly lit lamps and candles until a warm golden glow illuminated the entire room. A sloped desk sat near the windows and neat rows of shelves lined the walls. Naomi moved along the shelves. Emotion choked her and tears blurred her eyes. Stacks of neatly folded parchment had been arranged on one shelf, quills and numerous brushes on another. There was gold leaf and gold powder, and pots and pots of ink.

  With a trembling hand, she lifted one pot and looked inside. Velvety black carbon ink waited for the loving dip of a pointed quill pen.

  “How was this done so quickly?” Naomi put the inkpot back on the shelf and lifted the stopper of another. “Vermilion.” She whispered the word with reverence as she saw the vivid red.

  Leon rocked on the balls of his feet, his hands clasped behind his back. He looked positively smug in his pleasure. “’Twas done before you arrived.”

  Naomi spotted a pot set slightly apart from the others. Instead of a simple stopper, it had a top that screwed into the pot. Carefully Naomi rotated the lid and lifted it free. She gasped. “This is ultramarine. This is so precious they scrape it off and reuse it. It can only be made with lapis lazuli. How? Why?”

  Leon took the pot from her trembling hand and carefully returned it to the shelf. “Roderick spared no expense. He wanted you to have everything you would need to continue your work.”

  Moved beyond words, Naomi covered her mouth with one hand and continued her visual inspection.

  “Are you pleased?” Leon brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckles.

  “She seems rather overwhelmed,” Gideon said from the doorway.

  Eyes the same vivid blue as the costly ink turned his way and Gideon’s entire body reacted. His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. His lips tingled and his fingers itched. Tension gripped his muscles, making him restless and hungry.

  “I’ll let Roderick know your suggestion was sound,” Leon told him. He looked at Naomi and then back at Gideon, his expression revealing his concern. “Shall we return to the hall below?”

  Gideon chuckled. “I’ve been charged with her protection, Leon. You need not protect her from me.”

  Still he hesitated. “Naomi, if you are not comfortable—”

  “I am well. Sir Gideon doesn’t frighten me.”

  Gideon smiled at the subtle challenge. Would she never learn?

  After another moment of indecision Leon departed.

  It was all Gideon could do not to crush her in his arms and plunder her mouth. Her radiant smile was nearly as painful as the memory of her passion.

  “He said this was your doing.”

  Emotion caused her voice to catch but Gideon couldn’t decipher what she was feeling. “I had to do something.”

  She took a step toward him. Gideon folded his hands into fists to keep from touching her.

  “Why?” Her wide blue eyes swam with tears. “Why did you do this?”

  He turned away before she saw how powerfully her gratitude affected him. “Leon mentioned in one of his messages that Gabriel taught you the art of illumination. Roderick wanted to do something special, something to make you feel welcomed. I simply suggested this as the means.”

  Her warm hand touched his arm and Gideon groaned. If she had any idea how close he was to feasting on her tender flesh, she would run screaming from the room. She stood beside him, touching him gently, her eyes limpid pools of blue temptation.

  “You are lying.”

  He shrugged off her hand and moved toward the window. Cool evening wind fanned out his hair and chilled his heated skin. “Why would I lie?”

  “I never told Leon about my art. You and Brother Gabriel are the only ones who know.”

  Grinning into the twilight, Gideon welcomed the coming night. “You are mistaken. Just ask your uncle. He sent a message informing Roderick of your unusual abilities.”

  Her soft chuckle wrapped around him like fur. If he didn’t have her soon, he’d go mad. He’d tried to stay away, to ignore the bone-deep ache. It was useless. He needed her too badly.

  “My unusual abilities?”

  She was right behind him. He could smell her tantalizing scent and feel the heat radiating off her body. Without conscious thought, he spun and pulled her into his arms. They sighed together and she wrapped her arms around his back, pressing her body against his.

  Dark hunger flared within him, driving the breath from his lungs. His fangs extended and his muscles cramped. Pulling her face into his chest, he gasped and trembled.

  Damn it, not now!

  “What’s wrong?” she whispered against his skin, sending tingles up and down his spine.

  “Nothing,” he said into her hair. “It has just been too long since I held you.”

  A shiver shook her body and echoed through his. She would be the death of him, there was no doubt. He closed his eyes and allowed the languid pleasure of her embrace to push away the darkness—at least for now.

  She eased away from his chest and looked up into his eyes. “Are the customs so different here? Will I be allowed to illuminate openly?”

  Tracing the edge of her filmy veil with his fingertip, Gideon said, “Nay. But you are capable of much more than illuminating manuscripts. The scroll you showed me is proof of that. Have you ever attempted something larger? A canvas? A mural?” He proposed the last with a chuckle.

  She stepped out of his arms and moved to the desk. Finding the lever on each side that adjusted the angle of the workspace, she shifted the position to her liking. “I’m still confused. How did you know what I would need and from whence did the supplies come? These are not compounds found in an average castle’s scullery.”

  “There is a large monastery two days’ ride from here. With a sizable donation from Roderick, they were persuaded to part with my list of supplies.”

  She faced him, her steady gaze searching his face. “And how did you compile this list? How did you know what I would need?”

  Unwilling to reveal the full scope of his sacrifice, Gideon scrambled for a feasible explanation. She didn’t need to know what it had cost him to bring this about.

  “I asked Gabriel,” he said simply, and hurried from the room.

  * * * * *

  Midnight came and went and still Naomi could not sleep. The shock of seeing Gideon had receded, leaving her restless and unsure. Why was he here? What did he want? Why was he being kind to her?

  Seduction could no longer be his purpose. He had been the one to stop before they shared the final intimacy.

  “This cannot go on,” she whispered.

  She had to understand what purpose drove him. The tension within her was tearing her apart. It would be tonight. Tonight they would be lovers or he would leave her life forever.

  Not bothering to dress, Naomi pulled her hooded mantle from the peg by the door and swung it around her shoulders. He had been given a tiny cottage within the castle walls. Elspeth had learned this from one of his men.

  Her guards were nowhere in sight when she slipped from her bedchamber and tiptoed across the great hall. Either Gideon had yet to implement their rotation or there would be hell to pay when he found out.

  The gatekeeper merely tugged his forelock as she passed into the lower bailey. With her identity concealed by her hood, he didn’t spare her a second glance.

  Moisture seeped through her slippers and Naomi hurried her pace. The faint scent of horses and wood smoke drifted on the breeze. It wasn’t really cold but Naomi drew her cloak more tightly around her.

  There were three small wattle and daub buildings adjacent to the barracks, which was how Elspeth had described the location of Gideon’s cottage. Naomi studied each for a moment and then approached the only one with firelight escaping around the shutters.

  After a single tap, the door jerked open and Naomi ducked inside. Gideon quickly barred the door and turned to face her.

  The
fire was at her back and she hadn’t lowered the hood so she knew he couldn’t see her features. Secure in that advantage, Naomi studied him. Tension hardened his features to the point of ferocity. He wore nothing but woolen hose. She watched his muscles ripple and flex as he moved beyond her to stoke the fire.

  “Why are you here?” he asked.

  Naomi laughed. “I came to ask you that very question.”

  “I live here.”

  She had tired of word games and half-truths. Tossing back her hood, she shook out her hair. “Why did you follow me?”

  “I arrived before you. How could I have followed?”

  Planting her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What do you want? Why are you here?”

  He stalked toward her with the loose-limbed grace of a wild animal. “All I understand is that I burn for you night and day. I tried to stay away from you, Naomi. I honestly tried.”

  “I came to you that night and you did not take me. You kissed me goodbye and—”

  “A mistake I will not make again!” He grasped her upper arms and dragged her forward until she pressed against his naked chest. “I will never be satisfied without you. You are mine and I am yours.”

  She didn’t stop him when he unfastened her cloak and tossed it over the back of a chair. If she hadn’t wanted this, she wouldn’t have come.

  His fingers threaded through her unbound hair. Naomi tilted her face and closed her eyes. The fire popped but nothing happened.

  “Open your eyes.” His voice sounded harsh and strangled. Naomi did as he asked. His gaze glowed with otherworldly light but Naomi was not afraid.

  “There can be no regrets. You must come to me freely without reservation or not at all.”

  Annoyed by the ultimatum yet understanding his hesitation, Naomi paused but a moment. “I am yours,” she whispered, “and you are mine.”

  His eyes squeezed shut and his lips compressed as if he were in agony. She stepped closer. He shook his head. After several deep, ragged breaths, he opened his eyes. The strange light had faded yet he looked so forlorn Naomi wanted to weep.

  “What is it? Why do you—”