Defender (Battle Born Book 4) Page 13

  “I’m getting bored, Lasenger,” Garin growled out the warning around his mouth guard. “Stop holding back or I’ll find someone else to pummel.”

  Not only was Garin his best friend, he was Raylon’s superior officer. Decades of training objected each time Raylon landed a punch. “Don’t want to mess up that pretty face.”

  “My face isn’t that pretty. Now get on with it or get back to work. This is a waste of time.” Carefully keeping his fists up, he motioned for Raylon to advance.

  “Just remember you asked for it.” Raylon unleashed his nanites and immediately felt a rush of strength and energy. His muscles twitched and his skin hummed as he emptied his mind of every thought but destruction. He fought better on instinct, moved faster and more accurately anticipated his opponents’ moves. Decades of discipline and lethal engagements had fine-tuned his senses and imprinted his entire body with muscle memory.

  When Raylon only stood at the ready, Garin charged. Raylon pivoted at the last second and slammed his elbow into Garin’s back. Garin spun, kicking out sharply with one leg as he balanced on the other. Anticipating the maneuver, Raylon leapt over Garin’s leg then used gravity, and the weight of his body, to drive Garin to the springy floor of the training cage.

  Cheers erupted all around them. Raylon ignored the noise. He straddled Garin and pounded his torso and face. Garin did his best to deflect the punches, but Raylon landed more than he missed.

  A warning signal blared, yanking Raylon back to reality. He lowered his fists then scrambled to his feet and held out his hand toward Garin. Panting harshly and blinking blood out of his eyes, Garin took Raylon’s hand and managed to get his feet underneath him.

  Raylon looked around. For some reason everyone in the fitness center gathered around whenever he entered the training cage. He looked at Garin’s bloodied face and grimaced. Kotto had looked even worse when they’d finished “training”. If he analyzed the reasons for his brutality, he’d end up scheduling sessions with Indigo. This was just as cathartic as the touchy-feely shit and a lot more fun.

  The cage attendant, who had doubtlessly halted the fight, tossed them towels and opened the door. Raylon wiped his face and neck, expecting sweat, but mopping up a shocking amount of blood instead.

  “Are you going to tell me what this was about?” Garin’s towel was equally bloody.

  “You provoked me.” It was a pointless excuse but he couldn’t stop the impulse.

  Garin’s scowl warned him that they were past evasions. “I provoked you because you clearly needed the release. The question is, what caused the emotional buildup.”

  Raylon scoffed. “You sound like Indigo.”

  “Cut the shit, Raylon. What has you so knotted up?”

  He shot Garin an impatient look and headed for the open door. “Can’t you guess?” He tossed the question over his shoulder and kept right on walking. He made it to the locker room before Garin grabbed his arm and spun him around.

  “Vox said she asked you to spend the night right after the restoration?” He scrubbed his face with his free hand as he let go of Raylon’s arm. “What happened?”

  “She got scared.” He grabbed Garin’s towel and handed both to a passing attendant. Then he waited for the boy to move out of earshot before he went on. “I don’t blame her for any of it. It would have been shocking if she hadn’t been afraid. But she’s ignored me ever since. Won’t even look at me.”

  Garin’s brows drew together, creating furrows in his forehead. “I can understand giving her some space, but it’s been almost a week. Sounds like she’s not the only one avoiding the situation.”

  “I’m a warrior. I beat the shit out of people and kill things. If she were in danger, I wouldn’t hesitate.” He spread his arms and shook his head. “I don’t know how to help her heal.”

  “Then ask Indigo for suggestions.” The corners of Garin’s mouth quirked as he added, “Or you could ask Vox for ideas.”

  “That’s not funny. Danvier has been keeping an eye on Vox for me. That’s the only reason I’ve left Chandar’s side.”

  “Well, someone has to make the next move and it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be Chandar.” The attendant returned with fresh towels and Garin headed for the showers. “Figure it out,” Garin called without turning around. “I need your head on something other than Chandar.”

  Raylon lingered for a moment in the quiet locker room, alone with his troubled thoughts. Garin was right. He’d allowed Chandar to avoid him for too long. Until she told him pointblank that she wanted him to leave her alone, he was going to keep trying. A smile curved his lips as he walked toward the showers. Even if she told him to get lost, he’d do his best to change her mind. Raylon was many things, but no one had ever accused him of being a quitter.

  After a thorough scrubbing, he dressed in the clean uniform he’d brought along for that purpose. He combed his hair and cleaned his teeth then looked for Garin, but the general had already departed. Raylon returned to the Pavilion via the express tunnel. But his boots skid to a stop as he entered the courtyard. The area looked completely different. Gone was the expansive sky with its multitude of stars. Instead he was surrounded by leafy trees, resplendent with all the colors of autumn.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

  Chandar’s sweet voice played across his senses as tangibly as a touch. “It’s lovely, but who changed the programing?”

  “The maintenance team found the old routine while they were running diagnostics.” She was dressed in harbinger robes and her amazing hair was bound in a simple braid, which she’d draped over one shoulder. It didn’t make sense, but he found this look even sexier than the revealing dress she’d borrowed from Indigo. Well, maybe not sexier, but more appealing, a truer representation of her natural beauty.

  Should he bring up the fact that she hadn’t spoken one word to him in the past five days or just continue on as if nothing were wrong? He didn’t want to ignore it entirely, but he didn’t want to put her on the defensive either. Instead, he drew her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I missed you, angel.”

  Her fingers curved around his hand and she slowly lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. This is all more confusing than I’d hoped it would be.”

  “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” She rolled her bottom lip inward and pressed her teeth into the tender fullness. Desire pulsed inside him. He’d love to nibble on her lips, or any other part of her body she’d allow him near. He heard his own thought and tensed. Only Chandar had the power to make him plead like an infatuated youth. If she ever chose to use her power over him, he’d be in serious trouble.

  “I’m glad you said that.” She sighed then hesitantly looked up. “I need something only you can give me.”

  Despite the sincerity in her words, guilt shadowed her gaze. What did she have to feel guilty about? He should be thrilled that they were finally talking again, but his instincts engaged and he’d learned long ago to trust that nagging sensation in the back of his mind. “Name it.”

  Rather than moving closer, she pulled her hands out of his light grasp and took a step back. “I haven’t been able to trigger a vision.” Her tone was hushed, as if she were confessing something shameful. Maybe to a harbinger this was shameful. It still didn’t explain the guilt.

  “It’s only been a few days. You’re still healing.”

  “This is too important. The rebellion can’t move forward until the Relentless is located and every conventional means has already been exhausted.”

  He caught her hand and drew her back to his side. “It doesn’t have to be you. Danvier is a harbinger too.”

  Her thick-lashed eyes looked particularly blue, the silver rings wide and shimmering. “My brother is exhausting himself with his efforts to summon a vision. If it were his vision to receive, he would have succeeded by now.”

  “The same could be said about you.”

  She shook her head and dropped her gaze to his chest.
Her lips parted as if she’d speak and then she pressed them together.

  He curved his fingers around her chin and guided her gaze back to his. “What do you need from me?”

  “What you tried to give me in the shower.” She tried to look away, but he tightened his fingers just enough to prevent her retreat.

  She’d just given him permission to kiss her, touch her, bring her pleasure—yet she’d never felt so far away. “What happened to not wanting to use me as your sex toy?”

  “I’ve tried everything else.” Her lips trembled and her hand shook as she pushed his hand away from her face. “Strong emotions can open pathways to harbinger energy. If I allow you to touch me…” Her shoulders lifted in a helpless shrug. “I don’t know what else to do.”

  Irritation turned to anger as he watched her fidget. She hadn’t missed him the way he’d missed her. She’d been completely absorbed in her vision quest. And now that all her harbinger tricks had failed, she would reluctantly allow his touch in the hopes that it would bring on the all-important vision.

  He folded his hands into fists then bent his arms and concealed his fists behind him. This wasn’t her fault. The vision was important. But obviously he was not. He’d foolishly allowed himself to think that she might see beyond his harsh exterior. He should have known better. She was a treasure beyond compare and his only significant skill was the ability to kill.

  “Raylon?” She reached for his arm, but he twisted away.

  “I’ll come to your room in a while. I need a shower.”

  Chandar watched him rush across the courtyard and disappear into his suite. His hair was damp and his uniform immaculate. He didn’t need a shower. Which meant she’d upset him with her request. She started toward her suite when Indigo stepped into view. Apparently, she’d been in the dining room, likely listening to the entire exchange.

  She hurried over to her friend and whispered, “Why is he angry?”

  Indigo tried not to smile and failed. “Oh Chandar, you have so much to learn about men.”

  “I didn’t mean to upset him. I thought this is what he wanted.”

  Indigo pulled her into the dining room and closed the door. “What do you want from Raylon? If it weren’t for the vision, would you have made the offer?”

  Chandar didn’t answer immediately. Lying to Indigo was counterproductive, but she wasn’t sure how to arrive at an honest answer. “I wouldn’t have made the offer tonight, but the vision is not the only reason I want Raylon to touch me.”

  “That would have gone a long way toward defusing his anger. You made it sound like you were summoning a sex slave to provide a necessary service.”

  “Oh gods, did I really?” She covered her mouth with her hand as tears gathered in her eyes. “How do I fix this?”

  “Go to him right now and don’t say a word. Kiss him like your life depends on it and don’t even try to explain until he’s finished kissing you back.”

  “But what if he won’t kiss me back?”

  Indigo shook her head. “If he doesn’t, he’s not the man I think he is.”

  Chandar crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  Grasping Chandar by the shoulders, Indigo gave her a careful shake. “Stop doubting yourself! If Raylon is your mate—and we both know he is—go claim him. You didn’t mean to, but you made this mess. Go clean it up.”

  “Okay.” She took a deep breath then nodded. “I’m so glad you were there.”

  Indigo gave her a playful shove toward the doorway and Chandar took the hint. She walked across the courtyard and pressed her hand to the security panel. The computer announced her, but the door didn’t open.

  “I’ll come to you.” Raylon sounded tense and angry.

  This wasn’t going to be easy, but she stood at an important crossroads. She wanted control of her life, which meant she had to take responsibility for her mistakes. Indigo had advised her not to speak, but she had to make him open the door. “I need to talk to you first. Please.”

  The following pause was so long, Chandar looked over her shoulder to see if Indigo was watching. As she suspected, Indigo loitered in the doorway to the dining room, trying not to be obvious. The door in front of Chandar parted and Indigo ducked out of sight.

  Chandar quickly stepped into Raylon’s suite, not giving him time to change his mind. Her first impulse was to apologize, a habit he hated. He’d untucked his shirt and taken off his boots, but it was obvious he hadn’t taken a shower. Trusting Indigo’s advice above her own insecurities, Chandar walked right up to Raylon and rocked onto the balls of her feet so she could reach his head. She tried to bring his head down so she could kiss him, but without the assistance of the four-inch heels she’d borrowed from Indigo, she couldn’t reach his mouth.

  He grabbed her hands and moved them to his shoulders. “I thought you wanted to talk.” A bit of his anger cooled, but he was obviously not ready to kiss her.

  “I’m an idiot.” She said it with as much conviction as she could muster with her heart thudding wildly in her chest. “I’m terrified of disappointing you, so I try to minimize how much I want you.”

  His head tilted and his gaze narrowed. “Did Indigo tell you to say that?”

  “No. She told me to kiss you senseless before I tried to explain, but I can’t reach your mouth.”

  He hooked his hands under her arms and lifted her until their faces were level. “So, kiss me.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and fit her mouth over his. When he didn’t respond, she pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I meant what I said in the shower. I don’t need a sex toy. I want more than that from you.”

  “Really?” His gaze bore into hers as he pressed her back against the nearest wall. Then he quickly dragged her skirts up so she could wrap her legs around his hips. “What else do you want from me?”

  “I want to spend time with you, share your meals, learn everything there is to know about you.”

  He tore his gaze away from her face and closed his eyes. “I’m a warrior, Chandar. I fight wars and kill people. There’s nothing more to know.”

  “That’s what you do. It’s not who you are.” When he didn’t open his eyes, she pressed her hand against the side of his face. “If brutality is all there is to you, how do you explain how you’ve treated me? You’ve been gentle and caring as well as fiercely protective. You’re not just a mindless soldier.”

  His lids slowly opened and he shook his head. “No one can hurt someone like you. Anyone would have done the same.”

  “Not anyone. There were plenty of men on the Relentless that had no trouble hurting me. You are not a mindless soldier. There is nobility in you.”

  He grabbed her hips and pressed against her, his arousal inescapable. “Does this feel noble to you?”

  He was trying to push her away, to use her fear as a wedge. She tightened her legs and rubbed against him, stubbornly ignoring the uncertainty welling inside her. “If I said no, you’d put me down. I might not even have to say it. If you saw fear in my eyes, you’d pull back. You’ve done it over and over, because you care for me.”

  “I want you.” His tone became hash, but he averted his gaze. “That’s all this is.”

  It was such a stupid argument. Their empathic link didn’t lie. She’d already tasted his emotions and they were richer and more complex than lust. He might not love her yet, but he was well beyond want. “Works for me.” She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth down to hers. “Let’s use each other.”

  His lips parted and his breath escaped with a throaty growl. In an instant, he took control and she happily surrendered, reveling in the freedom. She didn’t trust her ability to seduce him, but she could sure as hells respond.

  He grabbed her butt and aligned their bodies even more intimately. They were fused from hips to shoulders, but separated by layer upon layer of clothing. Instead of focusing on the frustrating detail, she gave herself over
to the kiss. He was truly aggressive for the first time. His lips demanded, his tongue moving boldly in her mouth.

  This was the real Raylon, the one he’d carefully restrained whenever he touched her. Fascinated and intrigued, she activated their empathic link and let his energy flow into her mind. Brighter and more forceful than he’d ever been before, she felt scalded yet invigorated by the intensity. He might not command magic, but Raylon had a wealth of power to rival any harbinger.

  He’s your mate. Why does that surprise you? Her inner voice suddenly sounded like Indigo.

  He tore his mouth away, panting harshly. “If we both get naked, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop. If you’re still trying to trigger a vision, I’ll keep my pants on.”

  She looked deeply into his eyes as she summoned all the courage she possessed. “I don’t want anything to distract me from our first time. If you’re still willing, we’ll try for a vision later.”

  “Are we bargaining now?” A humorless smile twisted his lips. “Give me what I want so I’ll give you what you need?”

  Frustrated by his persistence, she paused for another kiss, then rested her head against the wall. “The empathic link is active, you stubborn man. Look into my mind and tell me what you see.”

  He clenched his teeth so hard a muscle in his cheek ticked. “I. Don’t. Know. How.” He ground out each word without releasing his jaw.

  Of course. The empathic link she’d established required intentional actions, unlike a mating link that functioned automatically. He wasn’t telepathic. He didn’t know how to push emotions across the connection or use the link to explore her mind. She hadn’t meant to, but she’d obviously made him feel inferior again. “I’ll show you. It’s no big deal.”

  “For a harbinger.” He lowered her feet to the floor and moved away.

  She didn’t let him get far. Emboldened by the tenderness swelling in her heart, she grabbed his elbow and held on until the resistance made him stop. “Give me your flexblade.” His startled expression made her smile. “I have no idea how to use one. I don’t possess the skills. Does that make me less than you?”