Marauder Page 12

  “Do any of the Outcasts command such a ship?”

  “Their flagship, the Relentless, has the equipment needed for the transfer. I don’t see any reason why Kage wouldn’t allow us access to it.”

  “Has it ever been used on a human before.”

  “Of course. In fact the Outcasts’ chief medical officer was stationed aboard the Intrepid before he joined the Outcasts so he interacted extensively with human females.”

  She laughed softly. “That made him sound lecherous.”

  “Only because you’ve got a dirty mind.” He leaned in and playfully nipped her neck. “That’s one of the things I like best about you.”

  Laughing again, she shoved him away, but there was no conviction behind the push.

  “Maybe I don’t need to ask my next question,” Lanae said from the archway leading to the kitchen. Goftar was half a step behind her as they joined the younger couple in the small living area.

  “Ask it anyway,” Goftar insisted.

  “There are two vacant bedrooms upstairs,” she explained, “or you’re welcome to use the gamekeeper’s cottage out back.”

  “There is only one bed in the cottage.” Apparently, Goftar wanted to make sure they understood the difference and the implications of each choice.”

  Rex looked at Thea, his gaze warm and caressing. A thick forest bordered the farm on two sides. The cottage Lanae referred to was hidden deep in the trees.

  “I’d prefer the cottage,” he told Thea, carefully keeping his expression neutral. “But the final decision is yours.”

  She glanced at Lanae, then looked into his eyes. “The cottage.” Her voice was low and warm, with just a hint of sensual promise.

  Excitement, curled through his body like liquid fire. She hadn’t accepted his claim, but she seemed willing to explore the concept more thoroughly.

  “There’s a beverage dispenser and utility room, but you’ll have to make other arrangements for meals,” Goftar said.

  “Nonsense,” Lanae waved away his suggestion. “I’ll be happy to feed you. If you make other plans, just let me know so I can plan accordingly.”

  “That’s really sweet, Lanae.” Rex pushed to his feet and kissed her on the cheek. “We had no idea we’d need to stay, so we don’t have clothes or anything else with us. We’ll have to return to my ship tomorrow either way. It just makes more sense to stay there and return to the surface once Dr. Foronti finishes with the seedlings.”

  “Well, you’ll at least stay the night and let me feed you breakfast before you head back.” Before Rex could accept or argue, she said, “I insist. You’ve neglected me terribly.”

  “I’ll strive to do better. I promise.” He kissed her again, warmed by her genuine affection. “We both appreciate your hospitality.”

  “When’s my wayward son going to come see his lonely mother?”

  “I’ll make sure Proktar visits before we leave Linusian space.”

  “You better.” She crossed her arms over her chest, but a smile soon ruined her attempt at fierceness.

  “You’ve stayed in the cottage before,” Goftar said as the banter waned. “It’s already dark. Let me get you a lantern.” Goftar hurried back into the kitchen. There was a small utility closet near the back door. Doubtlessly that was his destination.

  A moonlight stroll through the forest might be just what they needed. Slow-flowing heat spread through Rex’s chest and fueled his smoldering desire as he thought of all the activities he hoped would follow. He held out his hand toward Thea and she took it with a shy smile. Shy? Thea was anything but shy. Still, he understood her reaction. The import of this opportunity hung over him with intimidating pressure. If he succeeded in claiming her, it would change his life in ways he could barely imagine. He was an outlaw, a space tramp. Males like him didn’t end up with soul bonded mates. It was hard to believe this was happening.

  It isn’t happening yet, he reminded himself sternly. He still had to win her heart, and that would be no easy task. Thea was even more closed off and defensive than the other human females, and that was saying a lot. The rash decision to kidnap their potential mates had set everyone up for a challenging courtship.

  Thea stood and Lanae drew her a short distance away, then spoke in a hushed tone that barely reached Rex’s ears. “If you’d be more comfortable in one of the bedrooms, just tell me. I will not let Rex, or anyone else, pressure you into something you’re not ready for.”

  “I wouldn’t either,” Thea assured her. “Rex and I have some things we need to talk about and it’s probably best if we have privacy while we do it.”

  Lanae nodded, then gave Thea an affectionate hug. Rex smiled. Lanae couldn’t help herself. She instinctively mothered everyone she met regardless of their age or situation.

  Goftar returned a few minutes later with a compact lantern and handed it to Rex. After locating the activation switch, Rex checked the charge on the solar-powered battery, then motioned Thea toward the back door.

  They walked through the kitchen and stepped out onto the large back porch. Darkness enveloped them, accompanied by the rhythmic sound of unseen forest creatures. Without streetlights or the light from other houses, it felt like the farm was the only dwelling on the moon. A multitude of stars dotted the velvety sky until the view was blocked by the surrounding trees. If it weren’t for the glow from the other moons, the scene might have been mistaken for Earth’s night sky.

  Rather than immediately asking what she wanted to talk about, he turned on the lantern and threaded his fingers through hers. “Ready?”

  She nodded and he led her off the porch, heading across the backyard and onto the barely discernible path. Her steps were steady and sure, but awareness pulsed between them, not unpleasant, just tense.

  “Is there something specific you want to talk about, or were you just backing off Lanae?” Yeah, that was subtle, he silently chided himself.

  “Obviously, I know how painful it can be to talk about past events, but I know very little about you.” She squeezed his hand before he could reply and added, “Lanae told me to ask you why you became a smuggler.”

  He chuckled, though nothing about the topic was funny. He could never stay angry with Lanae and she knew it, which was why she’d prompted Thea to ask him about this. Lanae was one of a very few people who knew the details of his past. “I suppose it’s only fair. I didn’t stop harassing you until you told me about Michael and your girls.” Her fingers tightened just a bit, but she didn’t pull her hand away. “I fell in love with a widow when I was still quite young. She was nine years older and had two small children so it didn’t matter that we weren’t genetically compatible.”

  “How old were you?” she blurted, then cringed. “You don’t have to answer that. The question was rude.”

  He didn’t understand why humans were so obsessed with youth, but the attitude seemed universal. Every human he’d ever met was hopelessly fixated on their age, and/or outward appearance. “I was thirty-one, but Rodytes don’t finish maturing until they’re around fifty. Our lifespan is at least twice that of most humans. I’m half Bilarrian, so I’ll live even longer.”

  She looked up at him, eyes luminous in the silvery moonlight. “You’ll live to what, two hundred?”

  “More like two fifty.” Unsure if she’d find the next fact tempting or manipulative, he hesitated.

  As usual, she was perceptive enough to make the decision for him. “Lily said bonding synchronizes the male’s and female’s lifespan. Does he die sooner or does she live longer?”

  “The female lives longer,” he admitted. “Rodyte genetics are tenacious. Each becomes more compatible with the other, but the female takes on more Rodyte characteristics than the man takes on human.” He indulged in a playful grin as he added, “Some would say that proves we’re superior.”

  “Maybe genetically, but bride snatching hasn’t been tolerated on Earth for at least a hundred years, at least in my country.”

  “I had nothing to
do with that.”

  “I know.” She paused, likely to absorb what she’d just learned. “Sorry about the tangent. Please tell me more about this widow you fell in love with.” Her voice tensed as she added the last phrase.

  The reaction pleased him. Jealousy, regardless of how mild, indicated interest. He took a deep breath and ordered his thoughts. He didn’t avoid thinking about the family he lost. The memories never really left him. They just no longer had the power to control him. “At first I accepted her offspring because I wanted her, but in no time at all I loved Niela and Lorif just as much as Hernoa.”

  “A boy and a girl?” She sounded wistful.

  He just nodded. He’d wanted this stroll through the moonlight to be romantic, not a depressing trip through yesteryear. “That’s the purpose of familial braids. Bilarrians use them to commemorate the ones who have passed beyond.”

  She nodded, acknowledging the explanation, then softly she asked, “How did they die?”

  “Illness. The virus was horribly contagious and very few who contracted it survived.”

  That caught her attention. Her steps slowed and he could feel her gaze on him. “Were you immune, or were you one of the ‘very few’ who survived the illness?”

  “Like you, I was devastated by their loss. And like you, I was convinced I should have died right along with them.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  He didn’t realize he hadn’t answered her question until she rephrased it. The last thing he wanted was to spend all night talking about the past, but she needed a bit of background to understand the situation. “I was a mercenary when I met Hernoa. She was from a primitive planet called Fortosy. Her people had lived for hundreds of years by ‘harvesting’ a mineral in their mountains called tamerite. Several nearby worlds used this mineral for fuel and came to Fortosy once their own deposits were mined out.”

  “The Fortosians had something more highly developed societies wanted.” She shook her head. “I don’t have to guess how this story ends.”

  “Their nearest neighbor offered to help them harvest the tamerite and protect them from the more aggressive demands of the other planets. Of course once they got a foothold on Fortosy, they became the most demanding of all.”

  Her expression gradually morphed from disgust to anger. “There are stories like this scattered through human history, and they make me crazy too. Why does one person’s ‘progress’ have to happen at the expense of someone else?” She released a frustrated sight, then said, “Anyway, why were you on Fortosy?”

  “The conflict escalated quickly and the Fortosians knew they were in serious trouble. I was part of a group of mercs who’d been hired to protect the Fortosian harvest sites. That’s how I met Hernoa. Her father and brothers were harvesters at the site I was protecting.”

  Suddenly Thea’s eyes widened and her free hand flew to her throat. “Was one of the neighbors responsible for the epidemic?”

  “I was never able to prove it. They conveniently burned the bodies before anyone could collect the evidence needed to bring charges against them, or even prove which planet had unleashed the biological weapon. But I know it was one of them. Nothing else makes sense. It was mass murder, plain and simple.”

  “Were you infected during the outbreak?”

  “I was. The virus caused high fevers, hallucinations, and loss of bodily functions. Most bled out when their intestines ruptured. Those that remained intact died of dehydration. It was one of the most painful and degrading experiences of my life.” A violent shudder rocked him, then he forced the memories back into the past where they belonged. “And my reward for surviving that horror was to learn that everyone I loved was already dead.”

  Thea let go of his hand so she could wrap her arms around his waist and give him a firm squeeze. “I’m so very sorry.” The words made her scoff. “I hate it when people say that to me, but I really mean it. No one should have to endure the pain you and I have gone through.”

  She might know the events that caused his pain, but she needed to understand how he’d processed the emotions. “I wanted to grieve, tried to open myself up to the sadness. It never came. All I felt was anger and guilt. So much guilt. Why had I survived when everyone else died? And how could I be expected to go on without them? It was so unfair.”

  “That sounds familiar.” She eased back so she could look at him. “No wonder Lanae told me to ask you about this. You don’t have to imagine what I’m going through. You can remember.”

  Pleased by their progress, he entwined their fingers and started walking again. They weren’t far from the cottage now and he was ready for this conversation to end. “I tried to outrun it for the first year or so. I switched from fighting other people’s battles to smuggling illegal goods. I avoided anything that reminded me of what I’d lost.”

  “Did that help?”

  “It did. I was trying to start over, to take my life in a different direction. But I was still so angry all the time.”

  One corner of her mouth quirked. Clearly, she saw the parallels. “How did you break the cycle?”

  “I met Lanae and Goftar. They had just lost their son, and yet they seemed much more...accepting sounds so cold, but that was the difference. They had accepted something they had no control over and determined that it would not ruin their lives or claim the happiness of their other son.”

  “No, that’s the real difference,” she said. “They had to be strong for Proktar. You and I had no one.”

  “That was part of it,” he agreed, “but they didn’t resist the pain. They embraced it, acknowledged that it was real and valid. That helped them process their emotions. Only then were they able to move through it and eventually on to something new.”

  “I’m the first to admit I’m angry.” She slipped her hand out of his, retreating just a little. “I don’t think denial is my problem.”

  “But you’re not angry because they’re dead.” He stopped again and turned her to face him. She hesitated a moment, then looked into his eyes. “You’re angry because you’re still alive.”

  The impact of his simple statement felt like a sucker punch to Thea’s stomach. She just stared at him in stunned silence for a moment, then brutal honesty forced her to analyze the statement. It had always been easier to stay focused on anger than to figure out the source of all that rage.

  He was right, and yet her feelings were more convoluted than survivor’s guilt. “I definitely feel guilty for being alive, but I’m angry because it was all so senseless, so preventable.”

  “No one can deny that.”

  She was surprised when he didn’t argue with her, didn’t try to convince her that he was the key to her recovery. She was pretty sure that was Lanae’s underlying message. “I think each person has to process loss in their own way.”

  “Absolutely.” Taking her hand again, they continued their trek through the moonlit woods. “I think Lanae wanted you to know you’re not alone, and any of us will support you in any way we can.”

  “I think you were right. Not being surrounded by the devastation every day has helped,” she admitted. “I miss Grandma Helen. We’ve always been close, but there is nothing else left for me on Earth.”

  He quickly averted his face, but not before she saw a pleased smile curve his lips. When he turned his head back around, the smile had softened. “Then the next step is figuring out where you belong now.”

  She wasn’t opposed to the idea, but he needed to understand one last thing. “I will never forget them. I refuse to try. They were part of my life, no, they were my life for nine years. I will treasure every moment I had with each of them.”

  “I feel the same way about my family. Most Bilarrians do, and this is how we show it.” He flipped his familial braids.

  Her only response was a nod.

  They walked for a few minutes in silence, but anticipation gradually replaced the awkward tension. The trail ended abruptly and they emerged from the trees into a clearing that surro
unded the most adorable cottage Thea had ever seen. All it needed was a thatched roof and three fairies to be part of her favorite fairytale. “It’s lovely.”

  He chuckled. “I hope you still feel that way in the morning. The amenities are pretty basic.”

  She wasn’t intimidated by basic amenities. Mike and she had always enjoyed cabins more than tents, but they both loved being outdoors. He opened the door and the lights came on automatically. Hadn’t Goftar said there was a beverage dispenser? She looked around and smiled. The cottage was all one open space, except for the bathroom, which was boxed off in one corner. There was a sink and compact refrigerator as well as the promised beverage dispenser. Though rustic and small, the cottage was also charmingly cozy.

  “The amenities of my house were more basic than this.” When she’d first encountered the battle born, any mention of her life before the devastation overwhelmed her with emotion. Little by little she’d found the surges less crippling. “I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

  “We’ll deal with that once I’m ready to let you sleep.”

  Heat washed over her in a slow, tingling wave. Mike was her one and only lover. Until she met Rex, she’d expected that fact to remain unchanged, at least for the foreseeable future. She swallowed hard, feeling awkward and unsure. “I’ve never been with anyone else.”

  “I know.” He closed the distance between them, his phitons gleaming like polished gold coins. “We’ll take things nice and slow. Or we can find another way of entertaining ourselves if you’re not ready for sharing pleasure.”

  She laughed. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. This just feels different.”

  “It is different. I’m your mate, or I can be if you accept my claim. Mate is very different than husband. There is no connection more intimate than a soul bond, no joining more profound.”

  Talking about it was never going to ease this awkwardness. She took a deep breath and raised her hands to his chest. “Don’t tell me. Show me.”

  Happy to oblige, he wrapped one arm around her waist and buried his other hand in her unbound hair. She sank into his dark gaze as he slowly lowered his head. She’d wanted more kisses since they left the market, wanted more of the pleasure he’d given her. Their mouths finally touched and she closed her eyes, wanting to concentrate on what she was feeling.